To Breathe Again
by Dressed With Black
Summary: AU. Nanao is on the run; in hiding from her abusive husband and she swears to never be found. Halfway across the country, she finds peace in unexpected places, and the people who live there. (Rating will change in later chapters)
1. The Beginning

**To Breathe Again**

-Prologue-

* * *

She darted through the crowds. Her palms were sweating, and she felt the prickle across her forehead, too.

Anxious and afraid, she still tried to be polite as possible when she shoved her way past the slower patrons who were blocking her way. It seemed like everyone was taking a train somewhere, but that was fine with her. It was good luck, really. The crowds gave some semblance of safety. She could hide among the throngs of people. She could blend seamlessly into the mass.

She hoped so, anyway.

A short girl with dark hair and glasses hardly drew notice, but every time someone's eyes connected with her own, she felt her heart lurch in her chest. A familiar string of paranoia would kick in, and she could just imagine her husband walking through these people flashing a photo of her.

_Have you seen this woman?' _he would ask, in that smooth charming voice of his. It was too easy for him. They would be disarmed by Sosuke's warm brown eyes and handsome features. So they would think back, wanting to help him out because he would seem so distressed. So wholesome and trustworthy. And maybe, they _would_ remember seeing her heading this way or that.

She could picture it all so clearly in her head that it made her feet move faster. She reached up and pushed her bangs out to further cover her features as much as possible.

How far was she from the gate now? Glancing around frantically, she located her destination and shot forward, holding tight to the strap of her bag.

Because she knew Sosuke was here somewhere. Even though she had gotten a head start she was sure he was here by now. He was good at getting what he wanted, and he wanted her. He would find a way to eliminate the little bit of time she had bought herself. He would have pieced it together quickly when she hadn't shown up for her shift. He would figure out that she must have spotted him. He was a good cop, with good instincts and spot-on investigative skills.

He would know she had ran for the train station.

She knew with stomach-twisting certainty that she was only prolonging the inevitable. He would find her eventually. But she would be damned if that would be today. Come hell or high water, she was getting out of here.

How had he found her in Sapporo, anyhow? She had covered her tracks so carefully. Had lived for two whole months there without getting found out. It was a huge city, and she had vanished into it's depths easily. That's why she had chosen it as a destination when she made her escape from home weeks ago. It was close enough that it hadn't cost her much to get to, and the population had hidden her away. Jobs were a dime a dozen here, too. She had been waiting at a restaurant down the street from her cheap hotel room during the day, making very good tips, and also worked a newsstand at night. The double hours provided her with enough money to stash away for her next move, which she hadn't planned on making until her collection jar had enough in it that she could have been more comfortable in the next new city. She had been undecided where that would have been, but anywhere was fine, as far away from her husband's town as possible. (And it was his town, with all the people there so wrapped up in his easy lies.) Her only real memories of that retched place were of living a caged life, so drained and broken that she had forgotten who she was somewhere along the way. Her husband had made her into someone else in the privacy of their closed doors, twisting her into submission, molding her into some unrecognizable stranger.

No more. Never again.

Sosuke could keep his lies and that town, he could keep the house and everything in it. He could have everything from their life together. He could have it all, she didn't want it.

She was taking her soul with her, though.

But she should have known that Sapporo was too close. Hell, the whole Asian Continent was too close. He had found her, and she couldn't fathom how. There should have been no way to trace her steps here.

But he had somehow.

And she had almost walked right into him.

Thinking quickly, she had darted into a damp alleyway, and ran as fast as she ever had in her life back to the hotel. Gathering her measly possessions and tossing them into her duffel without pause, she had dashed straight here, to the train station. Looking over her shoulder the whole way.

She hadn't planned for this, so she had no idea what to do or where to go. When she had gotten here, she just bought a ticket at the desk to the furthest destination available to leave right now. Since her funds were just starting to grow, it didn't leave her with much left over to live on. But she would cross that bridge when she got there.

Right now, she just needed to make sure she did get there.

She was unsure if he knew that her hair had been cut and dyed, but he was smart enough to not overlook the dark-headed females in the crowd. He would probably assume she had changed her appearance, and would be scanning every lone female with her build.

Her heart raced erratically.

But she made it to the gate, finally. There was the wonderful, liberating sound of the train coming down the tracks in the distance.

Wiggling her way through the gathered group of people, she came to a stop in the middle of the crowd, hoping the others would shield her from him if he came this way. She tucked her chin down, and waited.

Tense minutes ticked by, and she tried to focus on the murmur of so many voices all around her, the rhythmic chug of the locomotive as it drew closer. If she didn't, her thoughts would tear her apart. Because she was likely to give in to the panic and bolt, and trying to run on foot was a bad idea. She knew that, but it was hard to suppress the fight or flight response that was pumping adrenaline through her.

_Don't run, just be still._

She had no where else to go, and she knew the wisest choice was to wait for the train and be gone all together. Sapporo was no longer safe. She had to get out of here.

All she had to do was wait a bit longer. She held on to the strap of her bag like a life line, knuckles white.

When the train came into view, she felt her muscles lock up in awareness. The hairs on the back of her neck stood, and she chanced a peek over to the platform doorways. Her breath caught when her eyes landed on Sosuke, well dressed and benign, standing behind the crowd. He was speaking to a family of four, predictably showing them a picture. They shook their heads at him, and she watched as he moved on to an older couple and did the same.

She turned away so quick she almost lost her balance. Eyes darting to the train that was pulling up, she wracked her brain for a solution. If he glanced her way, he may recognize her on body language alone.

_Oh god, please, I'm so close now. Think, think, think. _

She only needed a few moments, a few precious moments, to avoid his notice.

Her eyes widened with a hasty plan, and she looked around the crowd, working through the idea. She would stand out to him if he looked this way, being by herself. Maybe she could pull off seeming to belong with someone else. He wouldn't think it was her if she appeared to be someone's mother or wife, maybe.

She didn't see any kids close by to strike up a conversation with. That would have been the best bet, as Sosuke wouldn't guess it was her from behind if she had a kid with her.

She searched the crowd around her for another option. Pass off as someone's wife, maybe? It could work, too. She searched for someone standing alone who seemed approachable enough.

Instinctively, her eyes landed on the largest man in the group. A tall, broad man with long brown hair pulled into a low tail. He was dressed casually with a ball cap pulled low over his eyes. If she could get him to stand with her, just until she could board the train, maybe it would put Sosuke off long enough.

She bit her lip, hesitating. Was she really about to go cling to a strange man?

Chancing another look over to where Sosuke was, she made up her mind quickly. He was so close now, _too close. _He could spot her easily if he looked this way. She needed that stranger's help, and whether he knew it or not, he was going to get her out of here.

Mind made up, she squared her shoulders and pulled her glasses off and tucked them into a pocket. She was not getting caught, not when she was so close.

Making her way to the stranger in the ball cap, she kept one eye on her husband moving through the crowd behind her. He was still talking to people, still flashing her picture around.

Still painfully close.

Ignoring the dizziness at the thought of being drug back home, she came up to the man's side. Up close, he was even taller, towering over her. His face was angular and unshaven, and he seemed lost in thought, staring ahead in a distracted way.

Swallowing her nervousness, she reached out and wrapped a hand around his, moving in close to him, pressing against his arm. He looked down at their hands in obvious surprise.

"Excuse me? I'm not sure if this is the right train. I've forgotten my glasses, and can't make out the number on my ticket very well. Could you take a look?"

She held out the slip to him, blinking innocently, hoping like hell she was convincing enough.

His eyes dropped to the ticket she held, before raising to take in her features, maybe wondering if he knew her, before he met her eyes and held her gaze for an uncomfortable moment.

She was unprepared for the stranger's sharp stare, it was piercing and shrewd, and she realized she may have picked the wrong man to lie to. This wasn't the type of man that a woman could manipulate easily. She should have aimed at a younger one, maybe.

The train was here now, though. Surely she could pull this off. It would only be for a brief time. The man at her side had stiffened, and she worried he would tell her to get lost.

She glanced back over her shoulder discreetly, scanning the crowd again to see where Sosuke was, but she had lost sight of him. Her heart was in her throat now.

Oh god. He could be anywhere.

She turned her attention quickly back to the stranger's, angling away from where she had spotted her husband last. She tried to smooth her worry over into an inviting smile for the man at her side, hoping her face wasn't as bloodless and pinched as it felt.

The man stared back at her steadily, not saying a word, before reaching out and taking the ticket in his large hand. His eyes had narrowed just a bit, enough to make her wonder what he was thinking.

"Of course. Anything for a beautiful woman. Let me see."

His voice was deep and musical, and for a moment, she let it sooth her nerves. "Thank you so much."

"You're in the right place," he said, and as the train pulled to a loud and shrieking stop, she leaned into the man even more, clinging shamelessly. He glanced back down at her curiously, and she felt her cheeks heat.

But Sosuke could be a few feet away, right this minute. She willed him to see her as part of a couple. A nobody. Someone else's wife. She prayed that if he looked her way right now, he wouldn't spare more than a passing glance at the two of them before moving on in search of a girl by herself. A lone female that could fit the description of the woman who he was searching for.

_Oh, please. _

The train's doors opened with a whoosh, and people started moving.

She wondered if the stranger that she held on to could see the desperation in her eyes as she silently pleaded with him to just pretend with her. For only a few moments.

He must have, because his lips turned up in a slight smile, one that offered reassurance, before he wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her to his side even more.

She stared up at him in shock, but he had looked away, scanning the crowd around them as they started forward with the rest to board the train.

She felt immense gratitude for this man, whoever he was. He couldn't know that he may have just saved her life.


	2. Chapter 1

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 1-

* * *

It wasn't the first time a pretty girl had approached Kyoraku Shunsui and blatantly come on to him.

In fact, that was a pretty regular occurrence. He was no stranger to attention from the opposite sex.

_This_, however, was not the same thing.

He had been waiting on the train to take him home, having spent more time than he cared in Sapporo. He had family here (if you could call that group of gossiping strangers family, that is). Most everyone he was related to lived here, actually. He had been born and raised in the city, which is why he had moved away as soon as he was legally able. He could barely tolerate them, even on his best days. It had been over a year since he had set foot in this city last. He visited as little as possible, in all honesty. Usually only making an appearance when he had to.

This particular trip had been for a funeral, some great aunt who he had hardly even known. But for some reason that he had long forgotten since, he had felt obligated to pay respects to the relative who he could barely remember. And the whole week had been stressful, filled with thinly veiled insults from his siblings, along with casual insistences of settling down from his mother and aunts. Carry on the family name and all that. Oh, and a dose of degradment and disproval from his father, of course.

They were a nice bunch like that.

They probably meant well, but he had little patience for their noble attitudes. He had moved to the other side of the island for a reason, and he was reminded of that with every visit.

He was so ready to leave. He wondered how many frown lines he had developed over the week. He couldn't remember a single instance since he had come here days ago when he had smiled a true smile, but he was sure it would happen again as soon as he was out of Sapporo.

And he missed smiling, now that he was thinking about it.

He also found himself missing the smell of the sea in the air. He missed his friends, and he missed the bookstore. He missed it all, and it was time to go home. Because Shari was home now, regardless where the rest of the family was.

_Why, oh why, did I think I needed to come here for this funeral anyhow? _He wondered sourly. He was just ready to get on the train. The trip back was always long one, but he intended to sleep most of it away. One could never have enough rest, after all.

But then, he had been pulled from his bitter musings of family obligations and resentment of this city. The girl had caught him so completely off guard when she had taken his hand in hers. Dainty and cold as ice, it had grasped his as if they were old friends. And when he had looked down at her, he had found himself at a loss.

She was beautiful in that elegant way, sharp features and pale skin. Too pale, if he were honest. Dark circles rested under her eyes, too. And with glossy black hair and small framed little body. He was fascinated immediately.

Sure, he was surprised by her familiarity, but she was a very attractive surprise. Those types are always welcome.

So the next step was a well worn path for him; he had been about to open his mouth to offer some suggestive conversation. Because it was a long trip, after all. A beautiful girl would be a perfect way to pass the time. A bit of distraction to keep the long ride interesting. He was nothing if not a shameless flirt.

But then he met her eyes…

What he saw in her gaze knocked him down several pegs and rendered him speechless. She had very expressive eyes, and very pretty, too. But they were filled with such despairing need it stole his breath. He was sure he had never seen such a haunting look in a person, especially not such a lovely creature as her. It took him a moment to figure out what she was conveying.

Then it clicked, and he knew. She was terrified.

It jerked him to attention so hard it made his spine go rigid, his muscles clench.

She was speaking to him, and he had to force himself to listen to her words, because the shadows in her gaze were louder than her voice, which wavered slightly. She had offered some excuse about needing him to check numbers, but he saw through it now. He had been called many things, but never an idiot. He had no problem coming to the conclusion that she was in some kind of trouble. Especially when she looked to the side and skimmed the crowd, her worry skyrocketing.

There was nothing else for it. He played along, and the relief in her was palpable. He took her ticket and dutifully checked it, all the while turning over possibilities in his head.

He wondered just who she was running from. The police? Maybe, but she didn't exactly strike him as any sort of criminal. Not at all.

Not that it mattered, he would have aided her, regardless of the reasons she needed it. There was nothing in him that would have been able to turn away from her. He had a soft spot for women in general, but she was calling out to a protective instinct in him that he never knew existed. He wanted to look after her, even though she didn't ask it of him. Even though he didn't know her at all.

He was never one for conflict, but he would be damned if he let anything happen to her. Not when she had come to him for help.

With an arm around her too-thin waist, he led her to the doors, keeping an eye out for any sort of threat. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, though. Just people going about their business.

As they boarded the train, she watched the doors like a hawk until the last passenger was on.

He wondered again who was following her as they moved down the isles, but kept his counsel for now. There were too many people milling about, settling in to their seats and stowing their belongings. She undoubtedly wouldn't confide anything where it could be overheard. He would learn more during their trip, they had plenty of time to talk in private once they got moving. He would get the story out of her then.

And he_ really _wanted to hear her story.

"Let's sit," he motioned to two open seats, but she was shaking her head before the words even left his mouth.

He drew his brows down in question as she stepped away from him.

"Thank you," she said, meaning it, "but no. Have a nice trip."

She bowed, prim and proper, then moved quickly down the isle, leaving him behind.

Before he could say anything more, she had put as much distance as possible between them. He watched her until she was out of his sight, having picked a spot somewhere towards the back where there was hardly any other passengers, sinking into a seat. Somewhere by herself, avoiding the possibility of conversation for the trip. He frowned at that, but forced himself to get moving too. He was holding up the line apparently, as the people behind him had started grumbling.

With one last glance to the back of the car, he picked an empty spot by the window and swung into the seat heavily.

He had just been given the slip, it seems.

Tossing his travel bag carelessly on the floor, he realized just how cheated he felt, too. He had wanted to talk with the girl, and damn but he was tempted to march back to where she had disappeared to and just take a seat by her. She may be done, but he didn't feel that he was. He wanted answers because his curiosity was peaked now, and his mind was too inquisitive to leave hanging like that.

Besides, he truly wanted to help in some way. She had hooked him the moment he had looked into those pretty eyes, bright with fear.

But she clearly didn't want any of that. Conversation or help or even his company for the trip. The dismissal was unmistakable in her mannerism when she had turned away.

He had served her purpose, and she no longer needed him.

He thought maybe he should be upset for being used, but he found himself oddly flattered instead (which said something about him he would rather not think about too much). She had picked him out of all these people, after all. So surely she had been drawn to him in some way, too. Perhaps they would meet again. Her ticket said she was going to Shari as well, so it was more than plausible. It was such a small town, the odds were in his favor.

But _still_…

The train lurched forward, slowly gaining momentum.

Feeling confused and dissatisfied, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He had planned on a nice long rest on the way home, but knew sleep would evade him now.

* * *

Aizen Sosuke kept it together.

He was no good to anyone (himself included) if he let his temper get the best of him right now. He was above such things. A man like him didn't fall apart under pressure, after all. So with a deep breath, he reigned in his fury.

He was in control. Everything would be fine.

When his wife had vanished over two months ago, he had kept his composure. It wasn't the first time she had left. In fact, she had tried it twice before. He had assumed she was done with such childishness.

Apparently not, since he was scouring a train station for her in a city that takes an hour to get to by car.

As if he didn't have better things to do? As if he didn't have things he was supposed to be investigating from work instead of searching for the insolent little bitch? He couldn't wait to teach her the error of her ways. How _dare_ she do this to him again. Didn't she learn the lesson well enough when she had last pulled the same damn thing? Didn't he make it crystal clear then that he would not tolerate such foolishness?

She belonged with him, she belonged _to _him, and he would tear the whole country apart to get her back if he had to.

Two months. The last time he had seen her was a whole godsdamned two months ago. Inside him, something dark and ugly stirred at the reminder. It slithered through his chest with icy and dangerous resolve. He _would_ find her.

He hadn't been overly concerned at first when he had woken up and she was gone. He had felt strange that morning, too, as if he were coming down with an illness. His mouth had been dry and he had a splitting headache, but he had thrown the covers back and went to find her anyways. He had meant to apologize, because the night before her disappearance, he had been rather…harsh.

But she wasn't in the house that morning. Again, he hadn't been worried at the time, because the logical explanation was that she was just leery of being around him after the night they had had. He had been a little insensitive, he admitted. So he had brewed coffee and drank it, waking up fully. He felt a little better with the caffeine, his odd symptoms receding a bit. He had sat at the table alone in the quiet of their kitchen, and rubbed a thumb over the bruised knuckle of his left hand; remembering the events of the previous evening. They had a disagreement and she had cried. And for some reason whenever she cried it made him irrationally angry. He hated her tears, but she _knew_ that. So why had she allowed herself to do so? It was her fault for pushing him over the edge.

She knew better.

But she had cried regardless, even though she knew better, and from there things had gotten out of hand. It had all been an accident, he hadn't meant to hurt her, but she surely knew that, too. He never meant to hurt her, but she provoked him. She just made him crazy sometimes.

And now, two months later, he just couldn't figure out why she had left. Why now? She knew him, she knew he was sorry for what had happened. So why would that morning be any different? From the moment he had opened his eyes, he had felt a sinking guilt at the memory of the way things had played out the night before. She's well aware how he hates the way he feels after such things.

Didn't she understand that he suffered too?

But, when he thought back on _that_ night, he remembered how eerily quiet she had been. How awful the mottled bruising looked in the stark light of the bathroom as she sat on the floor, holding a towel to her bleeding arm and refusing to meet his eyes. The vase had shattered on impact, but he had still never meant for her to bleed so much. Further inspection had made him think she probably needed some stitches, but he never allowed her to go to the hospital unless it was dire. He didn't want to traumatize her with the experience, after all. She was fine, she was _always_ fine, he made sure of it. It was for her benefit that he kept her home after such injuries. He could take care of her. And he didn't want some damned male doctor all over her, touching her freely.

Touching what was his.

Over his dead body.

She was his wife, and he wouldn't stand any other man close to her.

But _that _morning, when he had woken up to her being gone, he had searched the house and yard, calling her name. He hadn't found her, so he had assumed she had gone for a walk. She liked to walk, she took strolls through town often. He hated her to leave without him, it irked him tremendously, but it was a small pleasure of hers that she enjoyed. And he allowed it, because he was a good husband and he wanted her happy.

But, he still didn't like her doing it. God, didn't she realize how frustrating she was? He knew that she was afraid of his anger, and that she wouldn't go far, but _still_. It made him anxious to think of her out by herself.

But he had relaxed, figuring she was walking, and would be back soon. It was a nice day out, she always went outside on nice days. He went about drinking his coffee and feeling bad for the previous night and rubbing his shamefaced knuckle.

As the hours ticked by, he slowly came to the realization that she must have made a run for it.

She had left, uncaring how it would affect him. She was selfish that way.

He had searched endlessly at first, even taking personal days from work to do so. But then a few weeks had went by with no leads on her whereabouts, and the fire in him began to simmer over to a roiling boil.

He was so angry with her that he vowed to make her suffer when he finally got his hands on her. She would beg before it was over, and would look at him with her doe eyes and after a while he would cave in and forgive her. She always had a way of deflating his anger. He would see it in her gaze how sorry she was, and he would force himself to calm down and let her make her promises and try to please him. Yes, back to normal soon enough. He enjoyed that side of her after all; the submissive, placate side that came out only after he went overboard with his reprimand. She was usually doctile then, trying to pacify him. He liked her that way.

But he needed to get her back home first before all that. He would find her, then he would show her just how displeased he was with her, and then she would make it up to him. And she _would_ make it up to him after such deciet.

She wasn't acting like a wife at all.

And when, after the first few weeks after she had gone, he still got no leads to her whereabouts, he felt something in him snap. He had received a written warning at work, having lost his temper in a delicate situation. Then later, when it happened again, he was given three days with no pay. His boss was very disappointed with the way he had been acting, but it was _her_ fault, not his. He was on thin ice, his dedication to his job was being questioned because she was driving him insane with her absence. She had brought these problems down on him, and he would make it known when he found her. She knew how important his career was to him.

And she would never forget not to cause him such grief ever again by the time he was done.

So, here he was in Sapporo, asking around and showing her pictures to strangers at the train station. He had caught a lucky break a few days ago. He had previously been showing a current picture of her around with no luck. A snap shot of her as a pretty blue-eyed blonde. No one knew her, though. Not one person who he had asked had recognized her.

So he had sat down and tried to think like her. What she would do and where would she go? She was clever, so it was a strong possibility that she would try to make some changes.

He had dug through photo albums, pulling pictures of her when she looked like a different person, before he had gotten her to look like a proper beauty. Hair dye and colored contacts had done her wonders, and he had almost forgotten that she had once not looked so perfect.

With the older photos in hand, he had found a worker at the bus station back home who recognized her. And flashing his badge, the employee had easily pulled up the computer screen to trace back. People were always quick to comply when you were an officer of the law.

According to the bus station records, she had gone to Sapporo. And of course, that made sense because it was close and crowded. Sosuke wondered why he hadn't considered that himself.

He had only started looking for her here a few days ago, tracking to her new job at a restaurant in downtown. She was working there as a waitress. How pathetic of her, he had thought. She could be living like a queen in their home with him, but instead she was out here trying to run away and working such a degrading job.

He had been so close to getting her back, too, but then she didn't show up for her shift today. He knew he had blown his cover somehow and she was on to him. She must have spotted him at the restaurant and made a run for it.

He worked it all out in his head quickly. She knew he was here, so where would she go? The train station was the most likely place to find her, probably. He came here immediately, holding the photos out to people, pictures of his wife from before they were married. With her natural black hair and violet eyes, covered with mousy glasses. A few people said they thought they had seen her, but they were unsure where she was going or which train she took. But he carried on, asking and looking and hunting for his wayward wife.

He was so close he could taste it.

A part of him missed her so bad it hollowed out his chest. He did love her, for all of her faults. She had become the perfect wife. She was soft spoken and obedient, every move she made was aimed to please him. She was lovely, a perfect wife for him, and he was proud to show her off to people. She knew what he liked to eat and how he liked his clothes hung up in the closet. She knew when he needed his space, knew to stay out of his way when he was in a mood. She kept the house spotless and organized. She knew him very well, could predict what he wanted before he could demand it.

But, sometimes she needed reminded of these things.

And he knew he was strict at times, but that's only because he hated her forgetfulness. He wanted to help her, but he wasn't a very patient man. Again, he never meant to hurt her. But he always apologized when he did, always made it up to her. Didn't that mean anything at all to her? Wasn't she pampered? Didn't he shower her with attention, buy her nice clothes and jewelry? Buy her the house of her dreams? Take her to get her beautiful blonde hair done ever few weeks so her dark roots wouldn't show? (Nothing bothered him more than to be reminded that she wasn't naturally perfect. He always made sure to keep up on the dye.) He had spent a small fortune to please her, nice furniture and lavish vacations. All he asked was that she follow some simple rules.

Was that so bad?

Selfish woman, he should have known she was going to try to leave again.

She would come home, though. She wouldn't make it long without him, he knew. She had been well trained to be dependant. To need his support. She would never survive by herself. Hell, maybe she would save him the trouble and come crawling back on her own. That would be a flawless ending to this fiasco and a humbling experience for her. One he would never let her live down, too.

He was terribly lonely without her, honestly. And he hated coming home to an empty house. He had become accustomed to her constant presence. She was his companion, his wife. They loved each other, and they weren't meant to be apart. The house was not the same without her. If she were still there, it would feel like home again and dinner would be in the oven when he walked through the door after a day at work. Instead, he came home to the stale air of emptiness and the stench of garbage and take out containers piling up. It was a woman's job to take care of such things, and he was no woman. He refused to clean up the house he paid for with his hard earned money.

Selfish, selfish woman.

Thinking only of herself and leaving him behind, to clean his own house and do his own laundry? What kind of wife was she? That was her job, so he left it all for her until he could bring her home to take care of it. She would have plenty of time to do these things, because once he found her, she was not leaving the house for a long_, long _time.

He would tie her down when he left for work if he had to.

Sosuke glanced down at one of the pictures in his hand, running a fingertip across her younger face. Seven years ago, they had been married. She was the reason he had driven the distance to this foreign city.

She was the reason he had been drinking more and more to calm his nerves since her disappearance.

She was the reason his boss was starting to question his actions.

She was the reason he wasn't sleeping well, or eating well, or even thinking clearly.

It was all _her. _All of it was her fault, and he wouldn't allow it any longer. His will was strong, and he would have her back where she belonged and his life would be back to normal again.

Snarling in a rare show of aggravation, he crumpled the picture in a tight, trembling fist. When he found her, there would be hell to pay.

* * *

Nanao stared out the window at the passing landscape listlessly.

It had been a few hours, and now that her adrenaline had worn off she was feeling exhausted. Mentally and physically. She had dodged the bullet, but the gun was still loaded.

She could almost smell the gunpowder.

And she kept coming back to one thought: how long it would be before he tracked her down again? Worse, she had no idea where she was going. Her next destination was completely unknown to her, a place called Shari. A glance at the ticket had told her the name of the town, but she had never heard of it. So it would be all new to her.

Again.

She had just started to get into a sort of rhythm in Sapporo, going to work and saving her money. Not that she had ever relaxed there, it was much too close to home to give her any sense of safety. But now, she had to start over long before she had planned. This whole thing was flimsy and pocked with mistakes, she knew. But what choice was there? She couldn't stay in the city any longer, not now that he had found her there.

Ready or not, she had had to leave.

Letting out a tense sigh, she dug through her duffle bag, grabbing a few things. Glancing around, she noticed the few passengers sitting close by were sleeping now. Good.

Rising from her seat, she made her way to the tiny bathroom down the isle.

Inside, she changed her shirt, struggling with the buttons because of her right hand. The fingers weren't quite as dexterous as the left because of an old injury.

After that, she pulled her hair up, clipping it in a tidy updo. Something she was never allowed to do, once. Sosuke only wanted her hair down, never up. And she always did what he wanted.

Until she didn't, that is.

Forcing her memories away, she washed her face with cold water and placed her glasses back on her nose. She hadn't put them on yet, not since she had removed them to lie to that man a while ago.

Scrutinizing herself in the mirror, she nodded in satisfaction. Different shirt, different hair style, and glasses on. Small changes, but enough to keep the people on the train from settling on her appearance if asked. A part of her wilted a bit at the image she made, because she didn't look healthy. Her cheekbones stood out a little too much. She had lost weight, she knew.

She turned from the distorted visage and made her way back to her seat as silently as possible. Trying to avoid notice was second nature at this point. She mused that very few of these people had even paid much attention to her, anyways. But still, you could never be too careful with these things. If they were asked later, she would probably never stand out in their memory. She had kept her head down and avoided speaking to anyone for the last few hours of the trip, hoping to stay anonymous.

She sat down in her seat and stuffed the old shirt back in her bag, sparing a glance down the isle toward the front of the compartment. She wondered about the man in the ball cap from earlier. If he was asked to identify her from a picture, he would remember her, unfortunately. Considering how bizarre she had acted, she had most likely left an impression on him.

That worried her, but she knew it couldn't be helped. It was a loose end she couldn't have prevented.

She felt she owed that man one, though, because he had likely been the only reason Sosuke hadn't paid any attention to her back on the platform. She wished the stranger well, silently thanking him for something he would never know he had done for her. Yes, he was a loose end, but she would just hope for the best. Odds were slim that Sosuke would ever cross paths with him to ask if he recognized a picture, anyways. It would be fine, she told herself.

And she almost believed it, too.

She pulled out her small stash of money and counted what was left. She winced, wondering just what the hell she was going to do. The train ticket had taken a decent chunk, and she hadn't had time to grab all of her things from her room before she ran. In her panic, she had forgotten a few of her possessions, including her second reserve pile of yen that was hidden under the mattress. Which wasn't good, she desperately needed what was there, but it was water under the bridge now.

She placed the small amount back in the wallet and stuck it in the duffle. There wasn't much here, probably just enough to get her settled in Shari. That is only if she didn't spend any on food and rented the cheapest hotel she could find.

It would be tight, but she didn't care. She was still free and that was priceless. She would make it work. She had come too far not to.

Besides, she had endured being broke for two months, living only on necessities. In a crummy hotel, working two crummy jobs, and still, she had never felt better. It was a small price to pay.

* * *

Late in the day, long after the sun had gone down, the train made it's final stop. It was dark and chilly out, as Nanao made her way across the platform with the rest of the passengers.

The crowd had quickly dispersed, and the place was near empty in no time.

She looked at her surroundings, trying to think. She was close to the ocean, she could smell it on the breeze. But other than that, had little clue where she was or what lay close by.

She had no idea where to go.

No hotels here by the station, she had quickly realized when she got off the train. In fact, it seemed this station was the only thing out here. In the dark surrounding the area, she didn't see any signs of civilization other than the parking lot that was lit up. There had been quite a few people leave on foot, making a trek to whatever town lay nearby, so apparently it was close enough.

But she didn't know which direction to go, or even if she had the energy to walk an undetermined distance. The supposed town could be an hour long walk, for all she knew.

Groggy and hungry, she went into to the rest area of the station. There was only a single female bathroom, and she locked the door behind her.

A quick look around, and she decided it wasn't so bad. Probably cleaner than the last hotel room she had stayed in, honestly.

Resigned to sleeping in such a sad location, she sat on the cold tile, pulling a jacket from her bag over her. She ate a protein bar, chewing slowly to make it last. There were only two left, and after they were gone she would need to do something about food. Working at the restaurants was always nice in that she could get at least one free meal a day.

She leaned against the wall, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what the next day would bring.

Tomarrow, when the sun was up, she would walk to town and figure it out from there.

Her eyes drifted shut.

* * *

**AN: **

Thank you for reading, and please drop off a review! A few quick notes:

-This is a darker toned fic, and probably not for everyone. There are frequent mentions of mental and physical abuse, and I tried to keep it as realistic as possible. Fair warning.

-This is also a bit long-winded, but it just come out this way. I had a whole different thing in my head when I started...but, this is what I ended up with. It is what it is. I don't have any excuse for myself. It just kind of fell together this way.


	3. Chapter 2

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 2-

* * *

Nanao had woken up feeling worse than she had when she fell asleep.

She was still exhausted. Cold tile was unforgiving that way. And her eyes felt gritty and unrested, but she couldn't do much for any of that. She had things she needed to get done, so she knew she couldn't dwindle here long. Things like finding a place to live and a job. Hopefully she would be able to accomplish both, but it would depend on many things.

She stretched out her stiff limbs, and rubbed at her eyes. The earlier she started, the better her chances.

Besides, a station worker could come by at some point and find her camped out here, and she didn't need that. She wasn't sure how well she would be able to talk herself out of such a situation if she were caught, not with her brain addled from sleep deprivation and hunger pains roiling her stomach. It was best to avoid trying to explain things.

She struggled to her feet on shaky legs and made her way to the sink. Sleeping in a sitting position had left her with several tight knots in her muscles. But, comfort or not, sitting had been the only tolerable position. She drew the line at laying on the floor of a public place. Never mind a restroom.

She didn't have much dignity left, but she was going to hold on dearly to what she did have.

Funny, the things you can do when there is no alternative. It had been her best option lastnight, and besides, it had been only a few hours worth of sleep. A nap, really. She would put this behind her (with every other event from her laundry list of disgraceful situations) and never think about it again.

She let out a breath, and washed her hands and face vigorously. Because even just sitting on this floor had left her feeling disgusting. She had always been a neat and orderly person, and yet her she was.

She hardly recognized her own life sometimes.

She cleaned up as best she could with what she had to work with. She brushed her teeth and hair. And pulling on fresh clothes and eating a protein bar had her feeling a little better. She made herself as presentable as possible, pointedly ignoring the sunken look her face was starting to get. She really needed to figure out a solution to the food dilemma, but not right now.

Right now, she had to find a better place to sleep before the end of the day came. That was the first order of business.

* * *

8am, and Kyoraku Shunsui unlocked the door for the day, flipping the sign to 'open'.

He smiled to himself, glad to open the bookstore to the town again after a week of being away.

Since he had bought the big old building over three years ago, he had a morning ritual. It was just a little thing, really. When he flipped the sign, he always took a moment to gaze out the front windows and enjoy the stillness of Shari in the sunrise.

It was just a simple pleasure to soak in the day before it got crowded with noise. The sky was just brightening, and the fog was lit up in that eerie way common to coastal villages. A few folks milled about in the streets, but it was a bit early yet to see much traffic. All of the businesses sat along this stretch of main street, so anyone who needed anything had to come this way.

Including a dark-haired stranger that may or may not be somewhere in the city limits. She had had a ticket to Shari as of last night, but who knew? He never saw if she got off the train, though he had scanned the platform over before he left. He figured she had either gotten off at another stop or slipped away before he caught sight of her. He wasn't sure if she was staying around here, but a small and unexpected part of him hoped she was.

For all he knew, however, she could have only been staying for one night. Or not at all, for that matter. Maybe she caught another train to somewhere else today.

Again, who knew?

He put his hands on his hips and stared out of the window, feeling a pang of frustration. He had been plagued by curiosity since their meeting. And now he couldn't quite get her out of his mind. It wasn't like him to get so caught up over a passing acquaintance.

Hell, he probably couldn't even call her that much. A ghost of an acquaintance, maybe.

Regardless, sleep had eluded him last night. Not only on the train ride, but well into the late hours after he had gotten back home. Even a nightcap didn't quiet his thoughts.

Or five, for that matter.

Turning back to the store room, he offered the empty space a wry smile and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the smell of wood smoke and the musk of books. Ah, yes, he had missed this place.

Never would he have thought he would have done something like this. Moving across the island to buy a building and turn it into a bookstore, but here he was. And he had never been happier.

The bookstore was home to him, literally and figuratively. The second floor was actually his living space, a spacious flat with a wonderful view of the ocean from the balcony. In the summer months, the sound of the waves lulled him to sleep through the open windows. The apartment was cozy, filled with things he loved. Even though he didn't spend much time upstairs, it was a well worn comfort zone.

But the first floor was the business, and he took pride in the bookstore. More of a local hangout than an actual retail, it was always close to full of patrons.

Somewhere along the way, the store had become a common meeting place for kids, prompting him to secure one corner into a lounge area. Several pieces of over stuffed furniture all set in a circle, big homey rug, and magazine and comic racks updated weekly. It was usually filled with exaggerated whispers and giggles. The cork board back there was covered with page after page of hand drawn art from various ages, a colorful collage of greetings and names. Something different popped up daily, and he liked the ever-changing sight of it.

At another point since opening, the local teenagers had chose the store as a perfect area to conduct their study groups. So, another corner had been set aside with tables and bright lighting, privacy screens to keep the noise to a minimum, and the encyclopedia racks close by. That crowd grew bigger when it was close to entrance exams, often overflowing onto the floors. There was always grumbling voices, little arguments, and frantic cramming, but they always worked it out and never bothered anyone. It was entertaining to see teenagers camped out all over the floor, in various poses, studying diligently.

All the kids brightened the atmosphere, but there was no small share of adults who made this place theirs as well. The fireplace sitting area was popular with the older crowd, and it was surrounded by dim lamps and eccentric tables, and the high-wall shelving held every genre of reading material, both old and new. It made a perfect spot to sit with friends, or to simply read alone.

His eyes turned to the back shelf. It was his favorite in the store. It was the borrow section. For those who loved to read, but couldn't buy new books for whatever reason, he had set aside a 'used' selection. People could swap out books, with the understanding of returning them when they were through. Admittedly, it took up a large amount of space and didn't generate any revenue, but it was still the best part of the store, in his opinion. It was a popular section, as people started to bring books from home they didn't want any more to add to the piles.

The whole place was his sanctuary.

And he didn't care about the poor profit, his family had set up a trust when he was born that took care of financial stuff. He supposed he could have opened another type of business, or even run this one a bit differently if he had wanted a good turnover.

But then, he didn't care about making more money, he had plenty.

And he didn't care about saving it, because hell, you can't take it with you when you're dead.

He spent it well though, he thought. He donated generously to local charities, the schools, hospital, and animal rescue groups. Besides that, he led a simple life here, with absolutely nothing lavish about it. He rarely splurged on anything for himself. He enjoyed walking the beach and being surrounded by good people, so his hobbies were free. He had what he needed, and the store kept the young minds engaged and out of trouble.

He would rather spend his days here at the bookstore than anywhere else, honestly. He loved the constant stream of customers, the never-ending chatter of voices, and the familiar and friendly faces. He loved hearing new things, and meeting new people. It was a pleasure to just watch their interactions, to note the little quirks and habits. They were tons of fun.

No, the money didn't matter, because the people were worth their weight in gold.

Having grown up in such a sterile family, where love didn't truly exist between them and conversation was forced and formal, it was a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by such vitality.

He had been pressured his whole life to change, to be a different kind of man, to live up to his father's expectations, to stop goofing off, and start being serious. They had always only ever wanted him to change his ways and be like them.

But Shunsui, for his part, wanted nothing more than to be content with his life.

He had wanted to wake up everyday and know that he was where he wanted to be, not fulfilling someone else's wishes.

Maybe he hadn't accomplished much, having not married or had any children just yet, or done anything particularly noteworthy. When he had moved here, it was because he had wanted to figure things out; decide what he wanted out of the world.

He had sought a sense of belonging, and he had found it in this small town and close-knit community. He had found it in the beauty here, too. In the ocean and the narrow roads, in the looming peak in the background and numerous hot springs, the undemanding and unhurried pace of existence.

He had wanted to know he had a place where he was himself and no one else. Somewhere that he wasn't _expected_ to be anyone else.

And as the bell over the door tinkled merrily and a cheerful voice called out to him, announcing the first patron of the day, he was sure he had accomplished at least that much.

* * *

It was still early morning when Nanao decided she was going to probably hate this town.

Although the towering summit in the distance was a stunning and unexpected sight. She could see the village nestled in the shadow of the volcano, the fog covered top disappearing in the sky. It was breathtaking and surprising to walk outside and notice such natural beauty, now that it was daylight. It kept drawing her eye as she moved down the road.

But she was still off to a bad start with the town ahead. Not because of any logical reason. No, her aversion to this place was much more unreasonable. It could be blamed on the strange way her mind works these days, probably. Caught somewhere between past and present.

She guessed from the distance she could make it to the heart of Shari on foot in about 20 minutes. It wasn't far at all, just a short walk. She had been well conditioned to walking everywhere since she had ran away. With no car, she had little choice but to walk to work, or to the store. Her muscles had changed with all the exercise, giving her a more toned build than her usual slim, soft self. Besides, she was no stranger to doing without a vehicle. During her seven years of marriage, Sosuke had always kept control over the car, insisting on taking her to the places she needed to go. The number of places had shrank over the years, a slow decline into hell that she never saw coming until she was knee-deep. He had gradually isolated her from the outside world, making her life revolve around him.

But it had all started out with little things.

'_Don't visit with those neighbors, they're bad news'. _

And she trusted his judgment, so she would listen to such advice. She stayed away from people he didn't like, because she knew he was a good judge of character.

'_I want you to stay in the house while I'm at work, crime has been increasing in this area. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you.'_

It seemed so reasonable. His line of work made him extra aware of the state of things. She had no reason to not believe such things.

'_How about we go to that nice little restaurant together, the one on the corner you like so much? We don't have to go to that barbeque, do we? I'd much rather just spend time with you alone.'_

It never struck her as odd when he worded it so well. It sounded like a plausible excuse to skip gatherings with her friends.

'_I had to work so late last night, and we missed dinner together. Stay with me. You can go with her another evening, cant you?' _

Before long, she was blowing off dinners and picnics, avoiding neighbors, and waiting for him before she went anywhere at all. Her sister grew bitter with her after so many cancelled plans. Even more so when she started getting suspicious, started asking questions and demanding answers. Lesa was only looking out for her, but she had a terrible way of showing worry. And fed up with a lost cause that her baby sister was becoming, Lesa eventually stopped speaking to her altogether.

The ache of that seperation still lingered, years later. But she couldn't blame Lesa for the way things ended between them. No, she only blamed herself for being so stupid back then. For not seeing clearly, as Lesa had.

But again, all of the little things didn't seem like an issue, not at first. It seemed natural to her to spend so much time together, because they loved one another. He cared about her and wanted to be with her, always.

And besides, he would get so angry if she disagreed when he asked her to do those things. So, it didn't seem like such a big deal to younger, blind self. Everything had been so perfect, and she had been in love. It wasn't worth arguing with her new husband over, now was it? Marriage was about compromise, she had always felt.

So she compromised.

To keep the peace, she did like he asked. It seemed so minor, that he just wanted her to spend time with him, to be home when he got home from work, to stay away from trouble-making types of neighbors. He was just looking out for her. He cared about her, wanted her close, and would take her wherever she needed to go.

He was a good husband, she had thought. She used to think that way, early on. Before things quit making sense. Before the compromises became one sided and her alarm bells started ringing.

So after a while, friends stopped calling. She didn't notice right away. But suddenly, there was no more invites or phone calls. People didn't stop by. Neighbors quit trying to talk with them. Everyone had given up trying to maintain a relationship with her, because it was all one-sided.

One of her small pleasures back then, when the loneliness started creeping up on her, was going for walks. Not far, because Sosuke had been so worried over something happening to her if she went too far. But, just little walks around the neighborhood, or a few blocks over to the market. She would coo at the dogs behind fences, or babies in their strollers. She would loose herself in the wonderful feeling of aimlessness, of having no where to be. She loved going for those afternoon strolls, just herself with her thoughts, and the beautiful country scenery.

But sometimes when it was nice out, she could go and loose track of time, often hurrying back in a panic when she noticed how long she had been gone. She didn't want her husband upset, because back then, with everything still new and sweet, she never wanted to upset him needlessly. She wanted to make him happy.

Although, she rarely felt that she was getting it right.

He seemed less and less happy with her as time went on, in fact. So she tried harder, taking more of his suggestions and doing everything she could to be a good wife for him. She had changed her hair color and grown it out for him, had switched to contacts because he didn't care for her glasses. She had dressed the way he wanted her to, wearing only what he picked out himself.

Still, no matter how she tried, he was always unhappy with something she did. She kept trying, but things only got worse.

At first, it was nothing more than his furious temper that cowed her into changing something he didn't like. He never struck her back then, but he hardly needed to when his voice tore her down so brutally. Little by little, she was making herself into what he wanted out of her, uncaring of what she wanted for herself. Because their marriage was a partnership, so she told herself it couldn't be about her only.

She had been so naive then, she knew now.

And that was the start of it all. That was when her enjoyable afternoon walks turned into something else. They weren't a hobby anymore, but an escape.

The more time that passed, the more she looked forward to those walks because she was away from his turbulent mood swings for just a little while. She felt safe on her own, even if for a moment, she felt that tiny pinch of freedom outside the confines of their household.

Where she didn't have to try to be anything or anyone.

It was the numbing, thoughtless motions of walking she enjoyed so much when the rest of her life began to decompose into something unrecognizable. She felt she could let the tension go for a bit without his gaze on her, without the feeling of failures and shortcomings.

Sometimes, he would insist on going with her. But most days, he wanted to sit down and relax alone to 'calm down' from a rough day at work.

It was towards the end, right before she had run away, when he forbid her to take walks anymore. Or go anywhere without him at her side, actually. The leash had been firmly fastened to her neck, after years of building up to such total control. When she realized the full encompassing truth of her situation, when she had decided she could take no more, she had fled.

She _had_ to leave, or she would die the slow death of someone who had given up.

But now, years later, she knew she had missed some important warnings along the way.

So, as for her reason for her distaste for the little town of Shari, it was easy to trace. She liked to think she was strong enough to not let the past weigh her down, but she had to be realistic too. She didn't always think logically, because some of her memories were such a jumble of happy and terrified moments, that she didn't remember which went where.

But there were key things that stood out very clear to her. Triggers that she couldn't help but associate with certain events.

One of those triggers was ruining this pretty view for her as she made her way across the sun bleached fields and narrow asphalt roads.

She wasn't walking through crowded streets to get to work, like in Sapporo. This was a nice, unhurried walk through the country, like she used to take, back then. When she needed to escape.

And in her damaged mind, walking leisurely like this was a trigger. It connected to all the horrible things she knew were brewing at home, waiting for her to get back. Waiting for her to screw up, to say the wrong thing, to make some gesture that would infuriate him. Waiting for her mistakes, ready to correct them.

And even though it was unfair and illogical, Nanao stirred up such hatred in herself on her way, that she knew the town never stood much of a chance for her to like it by the time she arrived.

Because her being here in this strange place, scared and unsure of the future, was just another thing that she could thank him for.

* * *

**AN: **

Thank you so much to the reviewers of the last post! I didn't get a chance to reply to them all, so here goes:

-Jen: Thank you, here's more!

-ditzie-blonde: 'Great' is wonderful to hear, I don't care how twisted it sounds! Thank you for the praise!

-scarlethex: Thank you much!

-Mosey: I'm glad it's coming across that way. Thank you!

-Life is too long: I thought about just making that chapter 1, too. It was never meant to be that long, but it ended up that way anyhow. Meh. I'm glad you're hooked, I hope to keep your intrest!

-Bree: Yes…Aizen is a douche in this story. It's only gonna get worse, too.

-Sweetdeath04: Thank you!

Also, I'm going to try to get the next chapter edited and posted very soon since this one was on the boring side. There shouldn't be much of a wait for it. I think Nanao needs some good luck, I've picked on her enough, probably. So chapter 3 gives her some ;)


	4. Chapter 3

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 3-

* * *

The sun was high and bright in the sky when Nanao read over the directions again, double checking that she had the right place.

She squinted down the lane ahead. It seemed to be a dead-end gravel road. It was certainly off the beaten path, too. She was a good half hour's walk from town, but the sign at the end said this was the correct address.

It was funny how she had ended up here, really. When she had gone to purchase a newspaper earlier, an employee the gas station sparked up a conversation with her. (What had her name been? Hinamori something or other? That sounded right.) It had been hard to get away from the cheerful little chatter box. But the girl had eventually told her of an old man who lived on this road, and apparently, he had a cheap apartment for rent.

Which was good fortune, because there were no rental listings in the paper at all right now. Although there were a few jobs were posted, thankfully. She would see about those next. The newspaper ads were tucked safely in her bag for later.

Right now, she would talk to this man about the rental he had. She had enough cash for securing a place if it were reasonable enough, so it was a higher priority than the job hunt.

She considered the gravel road and the few houses along it. The girl at the gas station had warned Nanao that the apartment had been empty quite a while due to the poor state it was in, and that the old man could be a pill at times.

But it was worth a shot, regardless.

So here she was, at an address she wasn't absolutely sure of. The girl had seemed like the 'eager to help' type, so Nanao hoped she had her facts straight. Besides, it was her only shot. She really hoped it would work out, because she didn't have money to throw away on a hotel room.

She made her way down the road, taking in the surroundings. From what she could tell, there were only three houses that sat nestled against the wood line. Well, two could be called houses, and the last one on the end more a cottage. And they were charming, in their way. She wouldn't say they were in bad shape, exactly. She had certainly stayed in worse places over the last few months, so she had little room to complain, besides.

These homes were just…tired looking. More weather-beaten than run down. Flood stains and faded shutters, that sort of thing. This was an area that saw its fair share of sea swells and typhoons. These owners probably gave up trying to fix the damage after a while.

It was a peaceful street, though. There was a calming quality to this meager neighborhood of three dwellings and ocean in the air.

She could certainly get used to this kind of quiet.

Walking to the second to last house, she was feeling optimistic, now that she saw the privacy that this area offered. The homes were set so far apart, it would never feel cramped. Not like the hotels and apartment buildings she had hopped around in for the last two months in Sapporo. This kind of isolation would be welcome after living in the city's hovels. The constant noise of people and traffic tended to drowned out everything else.

It was much different here, so still and pretty in a rustic sort of way.

There was a warm breeze, and Nanao watched the shadows dance across the gravel from the sun through the leaves above. The long grasses were sparse and swayed with a rough rustling sound. She could hear the crash of waves, too, and seagulls calling.

She found herself liking it down this quiet street. Just a little.

* * *

Sosuke Aizen tapped a pen on his desk, contemplating his options.

He was having a bad day, he supposed. One of many in the recent weeks.

The computer screen mocked him with it's uselessness, giving him nothing at all. Being a respectable member of the police force had its advantages, including access to the programs used to search and track people.

Unfortunately, his wayward wife hadn't used her real name, or any form of ID that he could tell. Because absolutely _nothing_ had shown up on the radar since her disappearance two months ago. And he had continuously checked.

He should be working on his cases right now, but he simply couldn't focus. Not with her out there somewhere, doing god knows what. His paperwork was backlogged, which was not like him at all.

He liked order. He liked schedules. He liked control.

What he _didn't _like was to fall behind, or put work off for another day. He didn't like the paperwork piling up, or the files left unfinished.

But that seemed to be all he has done lately. It wasn't him at all. He was not sloppy or lazy, but that's how it looked in his office right now.

His jaw clenched. _This_ is what she had reduced him to.

This man he was right now was not him. His head was a mess. When he was in public, he was constantly scanning faces, and when he was at home, he was always missing her. He watched the news and looked over maps, all with the purpose of gaining some insight of where she would have gone from Sapporo. And even at work, where his pride lay, he thought of her. Constantly. Obsessively.

It infuriated him. He couldn't goddamned focus.

And he needed to focus for this type of work. He needed his head in the right place to figure out things, because he was good at his job. But not recently, he wasn't. Oh no. He's heard the rumors going around the offices. He was not dim, after all, he knew what was being said behind his back. Coworkers are wondering what his issue is, because he's been so off his game. They know he isn't acting like himself. His cases are running cold, because he's not doing the amount of follow-up he normally would. Family members have been calling his desk for weeks, demanding to know where he was with the investigation related to their loved ones, why he hadn't arrested anyone yet, what's taking so long, and on and on.

And he simply didn't have time to deal with their problems, because he was too caught up in his own investigation. Wasn't his loved one just as important to find as theirs?

But he knew that wasn't right, he couldn't abandon his job like that. People were counting on him. Not that he cared, but his boss certainly did. His paychecks depended on his skills as a detective. It was all starting to really make him look bad, and he was sick of it. Image was everything to him.

He needed to figure something out, because he couldn't look for her and do his job correctly at the same time.

She needed to be home, plain and simple.

Then life would be back to normal again, and he needed that. He needed the whispering to stop, because it added to his lack of focus. Most of his coworkers were trash, anyways. But the families of these victims, they were driving him mad. He had unplugged his phone about an hour ago to get some damn quiet in this office. He needed their questioning to stop, because he would do his job for them as soon as he was able.

But most of all, he needed the sick feeling in his stomach to go away. He couldn't bear that she was gone, out there somewhere. He hated her for it, and he needed her back, and loved her, and missed her, and worried about her, and wanted to squeeze her beautiful pale neck until she couldn't-

_-Focus. _He clenched his hands tightly and took a deep, calming , he needed his focus back.

A glance at the clock, and he realized it was close enough to his lunch break to take his leave. He could probably get away with an hour away from the office to cram in something productive.

A quick run back to the Sapporo train station was in order. Because the answer to her new whereabouts lay there somewhere, waiting for him to find it. In the last week, he had combed that city meticulously. People had seen her, sure, but no one had known where she was heading.

He was determined though, because someone must remember where her ticket was going.

* * *

Nanao barely got a second knock in, before the door had swung open with such force she had to suppress a yelp of surprise. An old man stood in the entryway, his face was weathered and wrinkled in the way of retired military men, features pinched in a permanent scowl.

"Well, what do you want, girl?"

Nanao blinked at the gruff, no-nonsense tone.

"Pardon the intrusion-"

"-get to the point, I haven't got all day."

She stood on the doorstep, staring back into the most intimidating pair of eyes she had ever seen and swallowed thickly. His stare reminded her of a temperamental eagle. Or maybe a tiger at the end of it's patience. Some sort of predator that could take a chunk out of you, anyways.

"Um, of course. I was interested in the apartment?"

The old man only glared in response. His sharp gaze sweeping down her frame in an assessing manner. Not in the way most men would, calculating curves and attractiveness. Oh no, this look-over felt much more clinical, as if he could read her moral code in her body language.

She shifted uncomfortably, not entirely sure that he couldn't.

"The girl from the gas station said that…well, she had given me an address to inquire about a rental. Perhaps I have the wrong house," she murmured, rechecking the address on the paper she had twisted up in a nervous fist. It looked right, but maybe she had misread. "I apologize for-"

"-What's your name, girl?"

"Nanao, sir."

One bushy grey brow rose. "Hm. What's your family name?"

"Ise."

"Hm."

Another awkward moment passed, and she wondered if maybe he was senile. He was just _standing_ there.

"I don't know you," he informed her bluntly.

"Ah…should you know me?" she asked, confused.

"I know everyone in this town, have known most of them since they were just tykes. But I don't know you."

"You wouldn't, I just arrived last night."

"What are you doing here, then?"

"Pardon?"

"Are you daft, girl?"

"I'm just here about the apartment, sir," she said, choosing to ignore his jib.

"If you want anything from me, the very least you could say is why you came here," he said, crossing his papery hands over a twisted wooden cane. He leaned on it in a way that made it obvious he would wait until she said something satisfactory.

"No specific reason," she hedged, unsure what type of answer he was wanting to hear. "I just wanted a fresh start."

"Hm," he grunted, sparing a glance at the duffle at her feet. "Is this all of your belongings?"

"Yes, sir."

"It's not much."

"No, sir."

He stared drolly into her eyes for an immeasurable moment. "Ise, you say? Like the city."

"Yes, I suppose it is."

"And your given name, as well. Like the city of Nanao?"

"Yes," she held back a wince. She had stupidly picked the names at random off a schedule board in the bus station window a few weeks back. She had never heard of those places, and had needed an alias to go by. Seemed like a good enough plan at the time, and she had liked the way it sounded.

But obviously, this old man _was_ familiar with those places, and found it odd she carried the names. Great. Another person left with a distinct impression of her. Another loose end. Her mind flitted briefly back to the man in the ball cap, but she brushed the thought aside. She didn't have time to dwell on potential problems.

"I…I'll go. I'm very sorry to have intruded on you, sir." Nanao offered him a polite bow, feeling humiliated. She didn't know what his problem was, but she needed to secure a place to sleep before it got dark again. She would be damned if she slept in another public place tonight.

She turned and descended the steps when he didn't respond, only making it a few paces before that rasping voice stopped her.

"I thought you had an interest in the rental?"

"I did have an interest," she agreed, turning back to him. He was regarding her with what she thought was an amused air and she frowned faintly. "I'm afraid I just don't have the time for all this, sir. I need to find a place today, preferably."

He grunted at her light rebuke, running his hand down his long white beard thoughtfully. "You kids are always in such a hurry."

"Yes, well, this is rather important to me," she defended, turning to leave again.

"Well then it's yours, girl."

She stopped again, turning back to him, confused. "Just like that?"

"Hm."

"Why?" she asked before she could think better of it.

"Do you want it or not?" he snapped, causing her to jump. Sosuke had left her with a slight fear of raised voices. The old man's eagle-sharp eyes narrowed at her reaction.

She straightened her shoulders, adamant on not letting a crabby old man intimidate her. "Of course I want it, but…don't you need a deposit? References? More information?"

"Are you trying to talk me out of it?" He had softened his tone, just a fraction, but enough to notice. She wondered if he was as senile as she had assumed, after all.

"No, sir," she assured quickly.

"You strike me as a woman who is trustworthy enough," he waved absently, reaching for a set of keys on a side table inside the entryway.

Nanao didn't know what to say to that, so she kept quiet, waiting as he shuffled out the door. Making his way slowly down the stairs to stand in front of her, he leaned heavily on the cane again as he met her gaze.

"Can you paint?"

"Excuse me?"

"Paint, patch, drive a nail, clean. Repair-type work, girl. Pay attention."

"I can do minor repairs, yes."

"Hm. If you can do that, then I'll waive the deposit. The place is in a state of disarray, you see. It would need those things done, and I do not have the time to fool with it. If you want to rent it, all of that would be your own responsibility. I'd say the amount of work needed is well worth whatever deposit I could ask for."

"Yes, I'll take it. I wouldn't mind doing those things at all." She tried, and probably failed, to not let the huge surge of relief show. She didn't care what state it was in, she just needed a place to sleep. Something with running water and a roof would be fine. She would gladly take whatever mess came along with it.

"Then, it's yours," he muttered, tossing her a key ring that she barely caught. "Glad to be rid of it, the damned thing. It's high time someone takes the place. Been sitting empty there too long. Lazy youngsters around here don't want to lift a finger to clean it up. Come along then, I'll show you to it."

"Thank you…oh, I'm sorry, I haven't even caught your name just yet?"

"Genryusai Yamamoto."

A fitting name for a man like him, she mused with the faintest of smiles. It sounded like a general's name.

"Are you coming or not?" he snapped, trekking at a surprisingly fast clip further down the road.

"I'm coming," she agreed, and hurried to keep up.

Clutched the key to her chest, she was feeling more hopeful than she had in quite a while.

As she trailed after her grumbling new landlord, she thought maybe this was the first spot of luck she had had in a long time.

* * *

**AN: **I had planned on getting this out sooner, but thanks to an excavator and his dozer, my internet line was accidentally cut.

But, all is well again, and my husband is recovered from his Xbox live withdraw…

A huge thank you to the reviewers, you guys have been too kind:

-Life is too long: Thank you so much, your review was very detailed and I really appreciated it! It's nice to know how people are interpreting this so far, for the good or bad. And Lesa will be addressed again, just not for a while yet.

-Ducky the insomniac Panda: That is the most awesome name I've seen in a while, by the way. And thank you, I was worried I was being too long winded with this, so I hope it doesn't get old.

-Rhetorically Yours: Yes, I plan on ruining Aizen's image as much as possible with this story. And thanks a million for your compliment, I'm glad I've snared you!

-Will: Thank you! Hope the wait wasn't too long!

-Ditzie-blonde: Thank you, and Shunsui & Nanao are absolutely the main characters, although I'll admit their relationship development will be slow. Nanao needs some time to recover I think, and trusting men isn't something that will come easy to her anymore. So, it will be a gradual thing, but it's going to happen, I promise.

-Elite-chan: Thank you for the review, and I always disliked AU's too. There are a rare few that have captured my attention. I would have never thought to do something like this, but a book I read recently actually inspired this idea. I couldn't get it out of my head, so I figured I'd give it a whirl.

-Guest (no name?): That book actually was my inspiration for this, I freely admit to stealing the plot. It's going to deviate drastically from that, obviously, but the basic outline was the muse for this. Thank you for the review!


	5. Chapter 4

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 4-

* * *

"Uhhgg," he moaned miserably as he regarded the piles of new books laying everywhere. And that wasn't even half of it, there was still a big box full on the floor he hadn't taken out just yet.

If only he had a magic wand, he sighed. He didn't have any room for all this.

Grumbling to himself, Shunsui sat down on the floor, pout firmly in place, and dug through the box of new arrivals. He figured he would have to do some serious rearranging on the shelves to make room for all of them. This is what happened when he took vacations, stuff like this piled up quickly. The mail carrier had dropped off the boxes about an hour ago, and he still hadn't figured out how to make all these new books fit on the bookcases. They were all pretty much filled to capacity.

He ran a hand down his face, thinking he ought to hire someone to organize this crap for him. Because he didn't have any particular skill (or patience) for organizing. He loved the store but hated the mundane responsibilities of running it.

Like this, for example.

He stood up from the floor, stretching his stiff back and running a critical eye around the shop, contemplating his options. There was a _tiny _bit of room by the fireplace, but he wanted these new books up front where they would grab people's attention when they came in the door. Maybe he could move last month's new arrivals back there..?

He mulled over that for a moment, trying to size up the shelves in his head. It _may_ work.

The bell chimed, announcing an early morning visitor to the bookstore and interrupting his questionable brainstorm.

Glancing up to see his long time friend stepping in, he couldn't help the relief at seeing him.

"Ah, I was wondering when you would come check on me," he called. "I've been back all this time and no visits. You don't write, you don't call..."

"Work was busy the last few days," Jushiro told him, holding up a cup holder to make sure Shunsui saw that he came bearing gifts.

"Work is no excuse, I keep telling you to hire more help. Another pretty girl would be best. Look how much business Rangiku draws in!"

"I'm running an ad right now for more help, I'll have you know. And that's _not_ why I hired that girl," he defended, miffed.

It was a well-worn argument. Shunsui insisted he was on to the white haired man's plot of better business through attractive women, whereas Jushiro insisted on his innocence in the matter.

"Of course you didn't. But all those boys suddenly having an interest in your little coffee shop is mystifying, ne?"

"She does draw in her own little fan club," the white haired man admitted, setting the cup carrier down on a side table. "But then, maybe they just enjoy the newest brew. It's an import, and very rich. It's called Paramount Columbian. You should drop by to try some."

"Sure, maybe it's the fancy imports. But I bet your coffee shop has doubled sales when you started stocking…'the new brew'."

"Are you implying my shop wouldn't draw in it's own customers without Rangiku's ample…ah, charm?" he fumbled tactfully, causing the other man to grin wider.

"You did well enough before she came along. I'm just pointing out what a jump in sales you have had since. But, I agree wholeheartedly that it must be the new brew, after all."

"Yes, that's it," he laughed, setting out two styrofoam cups and handfuls of condiments. "I'll admit, she does have a way with the customers. But again, that's not why I hired her."

Shunsui chuckled at his friend's slight blush. He was such an easy target to tease. "Did I miss anything while I was away?"

"Is there ever anything to miss around here?" he asked rhetorically, glancing over the stacks of books piled around the counter and floor. "Where did all this come from?"

"Those are hot off the market, I just can't seem to find room to display them," he said, casting a dirty look at the mess.

"Ah. Here, I brought tea."

"What kind of apology gift is _that_? I'll need something stronger after the week I had," Shunsui said, shuddering at the memory of seven days spent with those people.

"What's wrong with it? You like my tea."

"I'd like it better with a kick."

"It's awful early for that," Jushiro scolded, filling his own cup with cream. "And the visit couldn't have been _that _bad, you look well enough to me."

"I've had a few days to recover, remember? In which you never even checked up on me."

"Indeed. And you obviously recovered just fine alone. So my presence wasn't really necessary," Jushiro pointed out to his pouting friend. "How was the trip? You're being rather evasive about it."

"Not much to tell. Same as always," Shunsui said inattentively, pulling an armload of last month's new books and carrying them to the fireplace shelves.

"Hostile insults and the like?"

"Always," he agreed. A few more trips, and the shelf by the counter was empty. Shunsui scrutinized the open spot, wondering if he could make the new ones fit. He would probably just have to. He shrugged to himself, and started lining books up.

"Nothing notable, then?" Jushiro asked, taking a sip and seating himself by the fireplace.

Shunsui stilled, considering the little wisp of a woman from the train that he had met and lost all at once.

Funny, the whole week with the family seemed to be a blur. But that brief moment stood starkly in his memory. He remembered every softly spoken word she had uttered, every tiny detail about her appearance. She had been lovely, in a heartbreakingly isolated way. He wished he had caught her name.

But then, Jushiro wouldn't understand any of that, probably. How could he say how the whole situation had tugged at his mind over the last few days?

Besides, it seemed silly to try to even try and explain that. It wouldn't sound right no matter how he worded it.

"No. Nothing notable," he answered finally, deciding maybe he needed to get out more. Thinking about such an irrelevant thing seemed ridiculous, even for him. He obviously knew it was strange of himself to obsess over, if he wouldn't even mention it to Jushiro.

It was at that moment that he decided firmly to put the whole situation from his mind. He would think about it no more. More specifically, he would think about _her_ no more.

There.

Simple as that.

* * *

Nanao ran the back of her hand across her damp brow, as she stopped to take a break.

She was hot and tired, but she felt accomplished. Her arms and shoulders were aching from the constant motion of the paint roller, and she had a few minor wounds. She wasn't skilled with tools, but trial and error had worked well enough over last few days. Even if a few bruised fingers would disagree. The hammer seemed particularly clumsy in her hands for some reason.

Finally, though, the appliances were clean, the walls were freshly painted, the wooden floors gleamed and smelled of pine, the windows were see-through again, the old formica countertops were faded but spotless, the bathroom was outdated but bleached. The crooked shutters sat straight and the railings for the porch stairs were sturdy again. Even the loose boards that made up the porch were secure. They still creaked under foot, but they wouldn't tear away from the weight now, at least.

It was nice, she thought, to look around and feel like she was useful for something more than looking pretty and making dinner and being the perfect wife. It was quite satisfying, really.

She could get used to this. Living alone and doing things for herself, that is. It felt good, because she hadn't had much to be proud of in a long time.

And this place was perfect for her. The cottage consisted of a tiny kitchen with a eat-in dining area, a small living room, and a bedroom with a bathroom attached. Very small, but just right for one person to live.

Thankfully, it had been lightly furnished as well. The old man told her she could have whatever was inside, which turned out to just be some basics, but she would take it. Although the furniture was in just as sad of a state as the rest of the place, she had cleaned them up to be passably attractive. She had aired the futon, hand washed the lace curtains and hung them out to dry in the sunshine, beat the dust from the rugs and cushions and pillows. She had discarded all the old linens, however. They were just in too sad of a state to salvage. Actually, there was quite a bit of things she had had to throw out. During her next trip into town, she would need to purchase blankets and towels, sheets and pillowcases. A basic set dishes, too. Necessities, only. The rest could wait.

Her landlord had dropped off supplies for her shortly after handing her the keys. She had assumed she would be picking those things up herself, but that was apparently not the case. When he had shown up with several cans of paint and bags of cleaning agents, he informed her that he hadn't wanted her buying the wrong things, or picking some ghastly color. His words made it clear he didn't trust her judgment on such things, or so she assumed that's what he had wanted her to think.

And, when she had offered to pay for what he had chosen, he about bit her head off. Somehow insulted that she would question him.

So she had thanked him and taken the stuff without another protest. He had then left her to her own devises and hadn't been back around to check the progress.

He was an interesting man, certainly. He was rough around the edges, but she had a suspicion that he was trying to look out for her. She really hoped she didn't give off some damsel in distress image.

She vaguely wondered if she could offer to do something for him in return. Like clean his residence, maybe. She didn't feel right taking handouts, even when they were covered up with haughty excuses to the contrary. She was smart enough to know better than believe his words.

Or anyone's words, for that matter.

Actions spoke to her. And his actions told her he was doing her a favor. So she owed him _something_, she just didn't know what. She'd have to think on it.

As Nanao hefted the garbage bags down the gravel road to the dumpster, she thought maybe this place could feel like home soon. She was on the downward slope of the work and repairs, now. The amount of trash she had drug out of the cottage was astounding. The old man hadn't been sugar coating it when he told her the place was in disarray. Luckily, the dumpster wasn't far, but the task still added to her exhaustion. She hadn't had anything to eat yet today, but that could wait. She was keeping herself well hydrated and working through the meal times, wanting to get done as soon as possible. She had bought more protein bars, fruit, and some instant noodles at the local supply store along the main strip of town the other day, but she needed to ration them to last until she was pulling in a paycheck.

Back inside, she considered what to do next. There wasn't much she could get into with the walls wet, though, because she didn't want to risk marring the paint. The rest of the work could wait until it dried, anyway. Most of the big chores were finished.

She took a deep breath and allowed herself a small smile. It smelled of spring and pine sol and new paint in here. And after three days of labor, it was starting to resemble something livable.

But better than that, it was something _hers_.

She took a quick shower in her cramped but newly scrubbed stall, threw on some clean clothes and grabbed the newspaper, scanning the businesses that were hiring. Satisfied that she knew where to go to inquire about work now, she grabbed a hairclip and brush to fix her hair.

There were a few ads running for help wanted, and she needed to get applications filled out before the positions filled. Having spent most of yesterday patching holes and sanding down the spackle, it had gotten dark on her before she had even realized how much time she had spent working on the cottage. She wouldn't let the same thing happen today. She needed a job, and she intended on finding one as soon as possible. No matter how she felt about working as a waitress or any other silly job, she needed to money.

Her hands froze on the hairbrush she had in her hands.

It made her remember a time when she had very different plans for an occupation. She had thrived in college. When the other students complained about the workloads, Nanao had eagerly absorbed it all. Once, she had been a career-minded woman, using math equations and her extensive training every day in school as she moved toward her goal. She had started her college courses before she was even out of high school, and was on her way to graduating early, probably with honors, from Pharmacy school. She had had only two years left when she had dropped out.

Gods, even now, that bothered her. It was her biggest failure. It was one of the first things she truly come to hate Sosuke for.

She had been doing what she loved, using her intelligence the way it was meant to be used. But that changed when she had met and started dating her future husband. Against her sister's insistence that she wait until she graduated, Nanao had married while she was still a student, convinced that it wouldn't change her course any. And she just couldn't wait the two years to be with him. She had a head full of wistful love story that blinded her logical side.

And my, but how wrong she had been.

Looking back on what she could have been, working any other job was humiliating on many levels, but most of all, she felt she was insulting herself. She knew what she _should_ be doing, but she had let all that go.

Even if she wanted to go back to that now that she was free of Sosuke, she couldn't. Not without her real name and proof of ID to re-enroll in a school. And there was no way in hell she would risk leaving a trail for him to follow.

She fixed her hair in a simple up-do and pulled on her sandals. Not bothering to glance in the mirror, she headed out the door.

The breeze was cool and felt nice as she walked the gravel road that led towards the main stretch of town.

She rubbed absently at her sore right hand. Thoughts of her schooling always made it ache with a phantom pain and a dark memory.

When the injury had happened, it was in a rare moment when she had stood her ground with Sosuke. He had been furious with her at the time, because he had wanted her to be a stay at home wife. He suddenly had developed a problem with her graduating. He didn't like having to wait on her to get home from classes or having to wonder who she was around all day long.

She had a suspicion that the problem had been brewing for a while before he finally made it an issue, though, because he would frequently comment on it. He wanted her home, he had said, and he would provide for her properly, as a man should. There was no need for her to get a degree, because she didn't _need _to work. That had been his argument, but she knew differently now. He had wanted her to rely on him completely.

And, sadly, she had.

But at first, when he had insisted she quit, she had refused. She didn't want to walk away from her career. She enjoyed her studies, and she was excited to graduate and start working in earnest. She didn't want to sit at home, because she had been blessed with a brilliant mind that was too active for such a life.

She had made the mistake of voicing those thoughts, too. Her argument made sense to her, but she had come off as condescending to Sosuke.

"_Think you're so smart?" _he had asked, in that quiet, dangerous murmur she had grown to fear more than she did his shouting. When she didn't answer because she knew whatever she said would just make it worse, he had grabbed a fistful of her hair, wrenching her neck painfully so he could snarl in her ear, _"Think you're too good to simply be my wife? Is that not enough for you?"_

She hadn't even been able to talk , could only whimper in answer, trying to relieve the pain, but he only jerked harder. She was against the wall, and had no where to go but whichever way he led with his grip. _"Answer me!"_

"_Stop," _she had gasped, unable to say much else.

"_Ungrateful woman," _Unbelievably, his grip tightened even more.

She then tried to free herself, because the pain was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She had pushed at his chest, grabbed at his arm, trying to pry his fingers from the punishing hold in her hair. When her nails bit into his wrist, accidentally tearing the skin in her desperation to free herself, he had lost it. He had grabbed her hand in his and smashed it against the wall with such force it left a hole in the plaster, and shattered the delicate bones.

She would never forget it, probably, because it was such an instant and debilitating pain. She had ended up with a broken hand for her defiance, and worse, she had been forced to let her schooling go anyways. He had a way of making her bend to his will, always with his belief that he was simply doing what was best for her.

She vividly remembered the shocking bright pain of it, though, and the instantaneous throbbing. She had cradled her hand to her chest protectively as Sosuke took a step back, realizing how far he had taken his anger. Comprehending that there was evidence, physical proof of his punishing temper. He was usually very good about not leaving marks where they couldn't be covered.

But that time had been different, because she had refused him something he wanted from her. Which he would never allow.

He had apologized profusely for days afterward, explaining to her that she shouldn't aggravate him so much. That he couldn't always control his reactions when he was upset. He told her over and over that he just wanted to take care of her, that he didn't like that she thought she had to work, not when he could provide for them both.

That was what he wanted, and so that's what he had gotten out of her. She was a stay at home wife from then on.

There was no trip to the hospital, of course. There rarely was, and it had taken weeks before her hand had healed. It had been so swollen and painful, but she had managed well enough.

And as those weeks had passed, as she slowly mended, she sat at home reflecting on what a strange and horrible turn her life had taken at some point. She couldn't understand how she had gotten to that place, couldn't make sense of how things had gotten so insanely out of control.

Hell, she still couldn't figure it out.

But at least she had taken some semblance of control back. That was something, wasn't it? She was damn well trying. And the stiffness in her fingers today reminded her of things she left behind. She wasn't so innocent, of course. What she had done wasn't right, either. Using her knowledge of drug interactions, things taught to her in school with the understanding to do no harm, she had laced his drink the night she had left. She had drugged a man. Her own husband. Funny, but she still felt horribly guilty over the act.

The cold part of her knew that no amount of talking, or marriage counseling, or anything else would change him, that he would only get worse.

The only option had been to run.

She blinked out of her memories, and realized she was almost to the town strip. The trip had passed quickly, having been lost in the world before now.

Holding up her right hand, she stared at it. Stretching out her fingers, she wiggled them a little, satisfied with what mobility she had regained. She had made sure to splint it with household materials while it had healed. Had spent several months working at her fine motor skills. She had done everything to the best of her ability to get it back to what it once was. But, it simply wasn't as fully functional as the left, and a closer inspection could detect the slight offset.

Now, though, looking at the deformity didn't sent a chilling reminder not to fight back. Not anymore, anyways.

In fact, looking at her hand didn't make her feel much of anything now that she was so far from the man who had caused it.

Maybe it was the smell of the ocean in the air, or the sunshine on her skin. Or even the dried paint caught under her fingernails and beginnings of a callous on her palms from three days of fixing her new home.

But she found some of her heavy chains falling away link by link.

These two months away from him had been wracked with anxiety and paranoia, fear and a constant sense of being followed. She had deviated from the original plan, to stay in Sapporo and save up enough money to leave the island for another city somewhere much further away. Instead, she had been found out and landed here in the tiny town of Shari. Which was _not_ in the plan. And certainly a point of anxiety, having to reroute her carefully constructed strategy.

But she had a new plan and it was simple: save money here, then leave. Sure, it was worrisome that he had found her in the last place, but she would be more careful this time.

She had to.

She wondered what was wrong with her, though. She didn't feel so deadened, or fearful, or overly nervous, even.

Maybe she was giving up, because really, she _should_ be scared. But she wasn't. The last few days had left her with a sense of liberation she never realized she didn't have until it came back.

Tipping her face up to the sun, she felt…solid. She felt like a person again. Not as breakable anymore. She felt like herself, like she once did, or just a little bit, anyways.

She felt like she was chipping away the years, uncovering someone she used to be. The smart and serious girl, the one with her life together and a clear future ahead. The girl _before_, the bright one. Not yet the woman who had married a monster, concealed in charm.

Long before everything had changed. The person who she was when she had been happy. When she had been hopeful and young.

And somewhere, deep inside, she felt that tiny spark stirring to life.

With hopes and plans again, and thoughts separate from the wants of someone else. It was strange in a way, to come to the understanding that she didn't have him to tell her what to do or how to think anymore. Her mind was her own, and her life was, too.

She was Nanao Ise now. Living in a place she never even heard of before. A fake name and a fake existence in an unfamiliar little village on the coast. And soon, she would be working a pitiful little job, to save her money to do it all over again somewhere else. She was so wrapped in illusion and lies she didn't even know what to believe anymore. She was lost, and a complete mess. She was living this life that wasn't really real. It was all just one big deception to keep herself hidden.

But she couldn't remember, not in any recent year anyways, a time when she had felt so much like herself.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew. Well…we just returned from our annual camping trip. My husband is a true and true lover of survivalists. And, I suppose I'm involved by simple association. I wish we could have normal hobbies, sometimes. Like the people who consider camping as taking their big, sweet camper to a nice resort by a lake.

But, no such luck. The mountains are beautiful, but I'm telling you, after so many days roughing it out there, you start turning a little bit feral. Especially after all the copperheads, mosquitoes, bear tracks found a little too close to your damned tent, and a good dose of digestive irregularity.

Maybe that's what's wrong with me…? Nature overdose.

Bah. The list is too long to pinpoint one particular thing.

Buy the camper, folks. Trust me.

At any rate, I apologize for the wait, and for the lack of Shun/Nanao interaction in this chapter. It's gonna happen, I promise!

Anyways, I have some reviewers to show my appreciation to:

-Brendabond: Thank you. And I know exactly what you mean.

-Benavidas: Your review made my day! I like to read the detailed thoughts and ideas, so I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your impressions. I know the reunion is dragging out, but it's not far off, so hang in there! Also, I never heard of Archive? I'll have to look into this.

-VMC: Thank you!

-Bookcase: Am I feeding the addiction adequately? Haha Thank you, and another hit isn't going to be much of a long wait. I'm trying to get it out probably by the end of the week.

-Ditzie-Blonde: Thank you for taking the time to leave such a great review, too! I've had many debates with myself over the Nanao/Yamamoto relationship. It's still not concrete how they will be with each other. I've changed it many, many times in the future chapters. Hell, I may change it many more before it's over with. And, yes, Aizen is a possessive nut job, as I'm sure is apparent. So in his mind, she is just 'his wife', not a separate individual. I've debated over revealing a real name for Nanao, but I'm leaning away from the idea. Nothing else fits, and I've just decided to leave it behind. She's just Nanao now. As always, thanks for your thoughts.

Angeleyes2500: Thank you very much, and the next update will be quicker than this one was. Just minor edits and it should be out in a number of days.

-Life is Too Long: Thank you so much for the review! I know what you mean, Aizen has pissed me off in this story too, strange as that sounds. Also, there will be a number of other characters of Bleach appearing, Yamamoto is just one of many. He just fit the crabby landlord role, I thought. The impression I always got was that he purposely run Nanao off during the fight with Shun/Jushiro. I thought he would have outright killed her then if he was so inclined. Maybe he held back for his favored student's sake, or maybe he just didn't want to waste time on someone so much weaker than him. Who knows? And, as I stated above to another reader, I have no idea where I'm going with those two yet anyways. It's complicated for some reason, and I can't get it evened out how I like it.


	6. Chapter 5

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 5-

* * *

Nanao stacked dishes on the shelf, with a faint smile playing on her lips.

It was her first full week at her new job, and she was feeling good about life as a whole. It was a lovely little coffee shop, and she was so glad to have gotten the position. The work was laughably simple, and she needed very little instruction before she had caught on to the rhythm of the place. Her coworker, Rangiku, had trained her. And the stunning tall blonde was hard not to like. Nanao hadn't attempted to make any friends since she had left home because remaining anonymous and leaving no trails was much easier if no one was paying attention.

But it was startling to realize how much she missed female company, now that she had it all day at work.

The coffee shop had it's busy moments, mostly morning and lunch time. It offered an assortment of café drinks, and fresh pastries that made the whole place smell amazing. It was much better than her previous job in Sapporo, where she often left her shift at the restaurant smelling of stale grease.

Yes, she liked it here. It felt like an easy fit. Not to meantion how nice it was to earn tips daily.

"Oooooh," Rangiku said appreciatively, breaking Nanao from her musings. "Look, quick, Nanao!"

Reacting automatically to the insistence in the other woman's tone, Nanao stopped stacking dishes and walked to the window. She peered curiously over the blonde's shoulder, but wasn't sure what she was supposed to be seeing outside. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. People milled about from shop to shop and cars passed. Just an average scene.

"What am I looking for, exactly?" she finally thought to ask.

"The dark-haired guy over there, see?" Rangiku pointed. "He is a fine specimen. Look at those arms. Mmm."

"You called me over here for that?" Nanao wondered, a touch annoyed.

"Uh, obviously. Totally worth it, right?"

Nanao rolled her eyes at the hormonal woman next to her and turned back to her task. It was only the third time today she had been tricked into checking some man out. Not to mention the constant inappropriate statements that passed through those big, gloss-covered lips. In between texting nonstop on her phone, that is.

Her bubbly coworker worked as little as humanly possible, it seemed.

"He's holding hands with someone," Nanao pointed out reasonably, as she finished putting the dishes away and reached to refill the coffee pot. Rangiku was still pressed against the glass, eyes fixed on the object of her appreciation outside. "That leads me to believe that he's probably not single."

"The more the merrier," the blonde waved, unconcerned. "She's hot, too."

Nanao blinked, unsure how to respond to that. She was still the new girl, so she wasn't sure how blunt to be around Rangiku just yet.

Although the other woman had _no_ qualms about speaking her mind to anyone who happened to be listening. After the first greeting between them in which Rangiku commented on Nanao's small bust size, she considered the ice sufficiently broken between them. She was sure it was the crudest thing a stranger had ever said to her, but knowing what she knew now about the woman, she figured it was rather tame.

Nanao shook her head at some of their remembered conversations. Rangiku was…well, she didn't quite have a word that properly fit. She just so real, full of life and apologized to no one for how she was.

Nanao could appreciate the honesty in the woman. Even envy it a little.

Besides, this first week of her new job had gone so well. It was a nice place, and Rangiku was nothing if not entertaining. They seemed to be polar opposites, but had gotten along very well together somehow. Perhaps they just balanced each other out.

Yes, she found herself enjoying this new job. Although it's been raining nonstop, and the long walks to and from work were no fun, but that was just a minor thing. The owner, a Jushiro Ukitake, seemed to be a kind man, but she kept her distance from him. Because, unfortunately, he was constantly trying to strike up a conversation with her. Whereas Rangiku asked very little past-related questions, Mr. Ukitake seemed curious about such things. She was curt and polite, and if it bothered him that she was so unsociable, he hadn't showed it yet. He seemed genuinely interested in her, and it was difficult to answer some of his questions without being rude. She had tactfully as possible kept her space.

But she knew she needed to try harder to return his friendliness, because she really was grateful to him. When she had come looking for a job, he had hired her on the spot, explaining in his cheery voice that he desperately needed another set of hands, and if she was interested, could start immediately. She hadn't had to job hunt all over town after all.

"So, what type of guy catches your attention, then?" Rangiku asked, bringing Nanao's attention back.

"None," she answered without thought, reaching for the second pot to refill.

"Girl, then?"

Nanao scowled over her shoulder at the blonde, but it only earned her a hearty laugh.

"Okay, okay. Men it is. So..?"

"I'm not interested in dating," Nanao clarified.

"How could you not be interested?"

"I'm just not."

"Oh! You should come out with me sometime! I know a few guys," she said, contemplating. "Hmm…oh! Do you like tattoos?"

"I don't overly mind them," Nanao said unconsciously, thrown by the subject change.

"How do you feel about them on someone's face?"

"Why would anyone put a tattoo on their face?"

"Never mind that! This guy makes it work, trust me."

"No thank you, really."

"You're serious, aren't you?" she whined, looking back out the window, sulking. "I don't get to play matchmaker often. What's a few drinks and some male company? Nothing serious, just fun. And I have this great dress, its fire engine red, that would look stunning with that dark hair of yours."

Nanao gave her a tolerant look, and didn't bother responding.

Rangiku was pushy and brash, but seemed to know when to give up. They went on in companionable silence.

The days were busy, and time slid by effortlessly. She spent the mornings at the shop, in easy conversation with Rangiku and dodging questions from Mr. Ukitake, and then spent her evenings finishing up repairs at the cottage. It was turning into a simple and wonderful schedule. Uncomplicated and worry free.

Mostly, anyways.

When she did feel troubled, she would walk down to the shore and sit in the sand to wind down before bed. It was lovely by the ocean at nighttime, and it was becoming something she was really starting to enjoy. She would sit and watch the moon over the water, bare feet sunken into cooling sand, usually picking up a small smooth pebble to worry in her fingers as the time passed. Or sit on one of the many old piers, with her legs over one edge and watching the murky water ripple, the wood creaking beneath her.

The quiet in this place soothed her in a way the city never could. The coffee shop was warm and welcoming, her coworkers kind and full of smiles. Her cottage was starting to look perfect, and close enough to walk anywhere she needed to go.

She felt that maybe she could grow to miss a place like this when it was time to leave.

* * *

Gin Ichimaru smiled pleasantly to no one in particular. The effect seemed to unnerve people. Several kept their distance, as if some internal alarm warned them away from him. But others, most people in fact, assumed he was just an optimistic incompetent. Someone to be ignored or brushed aside as unimportant.

It was a beautiful thing.

He rather enjoyed being underestimated.

When you were seen as having no teeth, you were basically invisible. And they never saw the bite coming. It all was very beneficial.

He leaned back in his office chair, rocking it with a toe in a show of absentmindedness as he allowed a big yawn to stretch his jaw. The two cops at the next table were discussing something rather fascinating. And thanks to the fact that they assumed he was just a scatterbrained intern, they had no problem saying things in front of him that should be discussed in private.

They never paid him any attention, though. After all, he was just an academy student, not really 'one of the guys.' And so they never thought twice about saying certain bits of gossip in his presence.

"I'm telling you, he's loosing it," one officer insisted in a hushed tone. "You can see it in his eyes. He's not right in the head anymore."

"He's been strange for a few months now," the older of the two agreed, and Gin wondered who they were talking about. This could be important information to tuck away.

"I heard his wife left him, truth be told. But then, he's been telling folks she's just away visiting family. He's the proud sort, so I bet the real story is she left."

"Bout time she did, I figure," the older one grunted.

"How do you mean?"

"I was on a domestic call at their residence a few years back. Concerned neighbor had called it in. Heard some suspicious sounds coming from their house or something. Anyways, when I got there, Aizen was all smiles, seemed perfectly in control. He had no idea what such a call would have been about."

Gin smiled wider. Sosuke Aizen, then. That's who they were discussing. He knew the guy, he was the detective with a chip on his shoulder.

"Where was the wife, then?" the younger cop continued, eager for the ammo for the rumor mill.

"I didn't see her while I was there."

"You didn't ask to speak with her? That's standard procedure for a domestic call."

"No I didn't, and you wouldn't have either," the older one scowled. "You haven't been around long enough, maybe, but we don't turn on our own, you hear? That's common courtesy. They got problems, maybe, but that's their business."

Gin didn't miss the guilt the older man was displaying. The way he rang his hands absently, remembering something uncomfortable. Interesting. He must have seen or heard something that bothered him that day. Something more than what he was telling. He knew something hadn't been right, but he turned away anyhow.

"So, like I said, if she finally left, she probably had good enough reason."

"Yeah, but he ain't doing so well, I think. Look how he's been acting."

"I think so too," the older officer nodded. "Loose cannon, that one."

Gin leaned back toward his desk, reaching for some paperwork he had left untouched. A loose cannon, they say? Those were his favorite.

He mulled over this information, thoughtfully.

He was just an intern right now, but clearly he wanted to be hired on full time at some point. The problem is, though, that there are currently no positions in the precinct available.

But…if, say a detective, screwed up enough to loose his job? Well, then, one of these morons behind him would probably slide into the open detective position. And then they would be needing to hire an officer to replace that man. Instant job opportunity.

So….

Gin hummed a tune, pleased with the way things were laid out before him. It was perfect. He wanted to get hired on, and now he had a good starting point on how to go about achieving it.

He wondered how, exactly, he could nudge detective Aizen over the edge.

* * *

It was two weeks later, and having not thought about her at all, that Shunsui Kyoraku caught a glimpse of the little woman who had ensnared him at the train station.

But it had started out as an ordinary Wednesday afternoon, with rain coming down in sheets and causing more people to resort to spending a day indoors than out.

With the bookstore bustling and the little bell jingling steadily with visitors. A constant stream of customers and high schoolers coming to cram together. There were several inside who were just killing time until the rain let up, as well. The couches and chairs were filled with people waiting out the rain with a book in their lap.

The quiet murmur of voices and pages turning was the background music he enjoyed.

At the cash register, he happily rang through one customer after another. All the while Yachiru, the neighborhood menace, sat on his counter and worked her way through a sticky lollipop, told him a story.

He, like most everyone else in the town, endured her like you would a stray dog. Occasionally giving her treats, but always watching your fingers.

"So when the fire really caught, I mean really, _really_ caught, it was great! Although it smelled a little like burnt hair…But it should have made them happy anyhow, right?" Swinging her legs excitedly as she chattered away in his ear, she occasionally caught a customer with a foot. The victims of such assaults from the child rarely corrected her behavior, though. Most knew better than to draw attention to themselves. She had a love of torment.

"I mean, it was dark! Really dark! But then they could see better with all that light from the fire! It looked like daytime it was so bright! It was like a bone fire!"

"A bonfire?" he clarified.

"Whatever you want to call it," she agreed absently.

"Hm. Well, I should think anyone would have been pleased to not need their flashlights anymore," he said easily, smiling apologetically as one man rubbed a sore spot on his hand from a tiny, well-aimed foot. The man simply glowered and took his purchases. Most customers were used to the little hellion hanging around here.

"That's what I said too! They were grumbling about batteries and stuff! I was just tryin to help!"

"I'm sure they were happy, once they realized how helpful you were actually being," he assured, chuckling to himself. Because really, there was never a dull moment when the pink-haired girl parked herself on his counter. She did so at least a few days a week. He kept a stash of comic books close by to occupy her on such occasions. And a cup of lollipops. And crayons. Although, those required explicit supervision.

He never minded her company, though, probably because they shared the mindset that some folks just needed livened up. Although they had varying opinions on how to go about it.

"Ooooooh! I forgot to tell you! Whitey hired a new girl!"

"He did? When?"

"I donno, but she looks like she already knows how to work there. "

"Oh? He finally got more help, did he? I haven't been by there recently. What's she like?"

"I donno, I didn't talk to her yet. I was there Monday, and Big Boobies was trainin her! But I think she has a special recipe for the coffee just like Boobies does, because boys kept tryin to bother her!" she explained, her eyes wide with sudden thought. The girl was a ball of energy, and easily bored. Her father ran the gym in town, and she usually went about looking for something to keep her occupied during his business hours. She tended to make her rounds throughout the day, and was a surprisingly great source of information about the goings on in Shari.

"Is that so?" he grinned at the child's logic. Apparently Jushiro had taken his advise, and gotten himself another pretty employee. They had plans later on, he would have to bring it up to him.

Good recipe, indeed.

"Yep! And Boobies says she's nice too, but I donno about that. She didn't seem real nice to me."

"Why not?"

"She has a great mean face! I wish I could make somebody shake like she did!" she informed him, comically mimicking an angry expression. It was offset by her chubby cheeks and ornery glint in her eyes, though. "It was like this!"

"That is a pretty intimidating look. I would be shaking," he assured her and she beamed. "What was the new girl giving mean faces about, exactly?"

"I'm not sure. There was a man complimenting her, and she wasn't very nice about it! You should say thank you when someone tells you how nice you look. Although I don't know who would say a butt looks nice, but whatever," the girl nodded sagely.

"I see," he said, slightly confused. Sometimes reading between the lines was necessary with Yachiru. From what he gathered, a customer must have been a bit too forward with the new girl.

"Oh! An' Whitey gave me some cookies to bring you!"

"He did?"

"Yep!" she exclaimed happily. "I ate them all, though."

"Ah. Well, it's the thought that counts," he said, not at all surprised. It was hardly the first time Jushiro or Rangiku had done such a thing. He suspected they sent the little girl to him with baked goods just to get her out of the coffee shop, anyways. Not that she hung out there much, she usually complained that it was too boring there.

"That's what I thought too! Those guys are pretty nice! Hey, do you have any glue?"

Shunsui laughed, reaching out to accept a book from a woman to ring up. No way he was giving her glue. Ever again. The last time had been a monumental disaster. She seemed to have forgotten about it already, though. She was too busy grabbing another lollipop from the cup by the register and tearing the wrapper off with enthusiasm.

The rest of his day had gone much the same. Yachiru eventually left to go bother her next target, and it just got quieter from there. Without her constant chatter the hours until closing time seemed to slow to a crawl, winding down to clock-watching tedium. Although it was only drizzling outside now, clearing some of the people from his store.

And when the last of the customers drifted out the door, he decided to go ahead and finish up and head upstairs to his home.

He counted the money, picked up the store a bit, smothered the fire, turned off the various lamps, and collected the discarded candy wrappers that never reached the waste basket.

He was just reaching up to flip the sign to closed when he caught sight of _her_. The girl who had piqued his unsatisfied curiosity two weeks ago.

Across the street from the bookstore, there she was, walking down the sidewalk by herself.

Stunned, he watched her a moment. He hadn't expected such a sight, but there she was. Glossy black hair tied up and catching the sun, glasses perched on her small upturned nose. She didn't pay any attention to the store window displays as she passed, or much to the people moving around her, other than quick glances. She gave the impression, though, that she had her eye on her surroundings.

He stared dumbly, stepping outside when he started loosing sight of her. In the span of a few seconds, he ran about a dozen scenarios through his head. Several involving him following and starting up a conversation.

But he didn't do that.

He was a smart man, after all. He knew she wouldn't appreciate such a gesture. So he stayed put, reminding himself of the reluctance she had shown to have anything further to do with him on the train. He would need a better plan than just strolling up to her and trying to talk.

He watched her move further away from the main stretch, out of the busy sidewalks full of people shopping and leaving their jobs for the day. She was an elegant little thing, dressed in a casual knee-length skirt and simple blouse, and moving with a sure, even stride. She wasn't carrying herself like she had before, like the startled doe he had met at first. Although she was still much too thin, and her skin was still quite a bit more pale than he figured was healthy. Her body language spoke different, at least.

Gods, but he wished he could know her story.

"I just closed up shop. Are you ready to go? The game starts at 8 so we could beat the traffic if we leave now…who are we gawking at?" Jushiro's voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he turned to find him at his side, craning his neck to try and see who had caught his friend's eye. There were too many people about for him to pinpoint which he had been watching, thankfully.

"I'm not gawking," Shunsui corrected, glancing back down the street. To his dismay, the girl had turned at some point and was gone now. She had slipped away in the moment he had been distracted.

He sighed, wondering where she was staying. Did she have relatives here? Or was she all by herself?

Damnit, but hadn't he decided he wasn't all that interested in the girl not two weeks ago? He frowned to himself, knowing that having seen her would crumble all of his resolve. He knew for a fact she was in town, now. And therefore knew he had a chance at finding out who she was.

He glanced at his watch, finally remembering Jushiro was still standing there.

"Traffic, right. Let's get going, then."

"Who is she?" Jushiro asked casually as they made their way around the back of the building to where the cars were parked.

"She?"

"It's usually a 'she' when you look that determined. So…who is she?"

"I don't know," he answered, honestly. But he was determined to find out.

* * *

**AN:** Confused as to why Gin popped up? Or can some of you guys guess where that's leading? Hmmmm? Love to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please drop a review on your way out!

Also….to some previous reviewers:

-brendabond: Thank you for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Jushiro will be playing a part in this story, as Nanao's boss.

-Life is Too Long: Were you able to guess which way I was heading with Nanao's job? There is also potentional for her helping out elsewhere…I'll shut up now before I offer any spoilers. Haha

-Wegg-Hime: Thank you for the review! I know this is slow moving, but I promise there is romance coming! If it helps, the story is far from over.

-Ditizie-blonde: Thank you for the review, and no, he's not going to loose interest. His obsession is just getting started. ;)

As for bullies, I feel you there. I always say I wish I could go back in time to high school just for the simple pleasure of telling so many people to go f*&% themselves. If I was the same person then as I am now, a lot of things would never have gotten to me like it did. But we grow up and realize that those people never mattered, and never will. Good for you for finding pride in yourself, and hell with them.

And yes, I feel mostly recovered now from nature's clutches. Haha Thank you for the concern. I hate sleeping outdoors.

-Love4theloveless: Thank you for the review! You made my day with your kind words! I'm glad you like the story so much. I hope I don't disappoint!

-ThatGirl35: Thank you for your review! I'm happy to hear that you're hooked! I'm trying to get these out quicker. The story is completely written, just the final edits need done is all. But for some reason I get sidetracked by life too much.


	7. Chapter 6

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 6-

* * *

Genryusai Yamamoto leaned against his cane, staring at the girl in front of him sourly. Her name was Nanao, if he remembered correctly, and he knew that he did. He forgot very little.

He had only seen her in passing over the course of the last few weeks since he had given her the supplies to spruce up his cottage down the road. Often, he caught sight of her as she walked by his house, or when she was working in the yard on outside repairs. She was always busy with some such thing. But he never bothered to say hello, or to check up on her, either (even though he didn't like that a young lady was living alone). But he could hardly mention such a thing to her, so he didn't waste his time thinking about it. Times were different, now, besides. He liked his privacy, so he could only assume that she did too.

Neither one of them had gone out of their way to approach the other. He preferred to keep to himself. She seemed to be much the same, as he hadn't noticed any visitors over there. They were perfect neighbors, he had thought. Each artfully ignoring the other.

Her presence on his doorstep had him reconsidering that right now, however.

She had shown up at his door, knocking and making a racket, and just generally _disturbing_ him. And here she stood, still on his porch, shifting foot to foot. She probably wondered if he planned on answering her ridiculous question. Was she seriously here to give him sweets? He huffed, meeting her patient, if slightly wary, gaze.

There was nothing for it, he would have to answer her question if he was to be rid of her. Letting out a put-upon breath, he scowled at the girl.

"Pastries," he said, in that gravelly, unfriendly voice. Spoken like a man regarding a box of scorpions instead of a box of doughnuts.

"Yes," Nanao clarified, holding the gift apprehensively. Her rent money was in an envelope on top. It was a way of expressing her gratitude to him for giving her a break. She wondered if maybe she had made a mistake now, though, since he was giving her such a daunting look with those piercing eyes. "I just received my paycheck, so I wanted to drop the rent off. And the pastries…they were left over from the day at the coffee shop, and I thought maybe…"

She trailed off, as his frown lines deepened with her explanation. She didn't know what she had expected, but she had thought maybe he would take the small show of appreciation as it was meant; as a way for her to thank him for giving her the cottage without the added cost of a deposit. She had been wracking her brain for some show of gratitude to offer him, but nothing seemed fitting for the old man. She had settled on the doughnuts, because…well, everyone liked those. It was a simple solution, or so she had thought.

But now that she was here and trying to explain, she didn't know what to say. She wasn't good with this kind of stuff, anyways. She had lost touch with how to relate to people at some point over the years. And he was far from friendly or welcoming.

"You're quite early with next month's rent," he commented when she didn't finish her words. One of his papery thin hands reached out to take the envelope of cash. He left the box in her hands, though.

"Yes, I wanted to get it turned in as soon as I could."

"Hn. And the rest?"

"They were just…I mean, they were going to be tossed out-"

"-keep the damn pastries. I don't want them."

"Sir?"

"I don't need gifts, girl."

Nanao flushed, having not expected such a reception to her meager offering. "Okay. Ah, well, thank you again, for-"

"-I don't need you bumbling on my porch, either," he pointed out, stepping back to close the door in her face. He paused a moment to appraise her appearance. Although she didn't look quite as bad as she had a few weeks ago when he had last seen her, she was still obviously not taking good care of herself. Still too thin, and the dark circles under her eyes spoke of someone with long nights and little rest. "Take those home and eat, girl. You need them more than I."

The door shut before she could say anything in response, leaving Nanao with her mouth hanging open and staring at the wood grains in disbelief. She wasn't sure if she should be offended or touched.

Brows furrowed in frustration, Nanao glanced down at the box in her hands. They were just leftover doughnuts, for gods sakes.

What a grouch.

So, not knowing what else to do, she sighed and turned on her heel. Taking one of the doughnuts out, she nibbled on it as she walked the short distance to her own home.

At the front stairs, she took a moment to admire how nice the rails looked now, after she had spent her day off yesterday painting them with whitewash. She had cleared away the piles of leaves and picked all the sticks and branches from the small yard, as well. It really gave it a charming curb appeal now that it was straightened up. It still held the rustic and tired look, but at least it was in a better state than before.

Besides. It was hers, and she was damn proud.

A sudden thought hit her as she contemplated the appearance of the small cottage. For the first time in a month since coming to Shari, she didn't have any more cleaning or repairs to do. That had been the last of it.

Huh.

She chewed thoughtfully, wondering what she should do with the rest of her day.

She went in and left the box of pastries on the counter before heading to her bedroom to change. As she pulled her shirt over her head, she couldn't help but notice the smell of the shop clinging to her work clothes; coffee and warm bread. It brought a faint smile to her lips.

Throwing on lighter clothes and a pair sandals, she made her way to the door. It was a nice day out, after all the rain earlier in the week, and her boss had let her go early because of their slow business. She would miss the hours on her next paycheck, but since she had a whole afternoon to do nothing with, she thought she might just wonder around. She had free time for the first time in forever, and wasn't sure how to go about enjoying it.

What should she do?

She supposed she could always go to the shore in the daylight. She wanted to compare the experience to her night visits and see which was better. All of her time here and she had still never spent a day at the beach, ironically. It was practically in her backyard, but she had just never gotten around to going down there when the sun was out. It was past time.

So she walked down the dunes and out to one of the piers. She was getting very familiar with the layout, of which wooden plank stayed slippery and which were safer to step on. Walking over the old pier with well practiced steps, she observed all of the daytime activity. The place apparently comes alive during the day, with the beach filled with the sounds of people enjoying the weather and gulls crying all around, children were out with their kites, few were walking their dogs or looking for shells.

She turned away from the running children and happy faces. The vastness of the ocean was much more comfortable to stare at. She felt like she would get lost in the scene of family life if she looked too long.

* * *

Nanao sat a few hours, lost in her thoughts and watching the sail boats in the distance, wondering what it felt like to go so far out there in the water. She had never been on a boat over the ocean, but maybe it was fun. She tried to imagine having the weightless rocking under her feet and the dark blue water all around.

It looked peaceful and quiet out there, too.

Behind her on the beach, a child squealed in delight over something, and her eyes traveled to the sound without her realizing it. She took in the kids that were splashing through the waves and playing in the sand, as parents looked on with contentment.

Her chest ached, for reasons she would never acknowledge.

She decided she liked the beach better at night.

Figuring she had probably gotten too much sun by now anyways, Nanao stood and brushed herself off. Making her way over the pier and back up the dunes, she thought maybe she would run to town for sunscreen. She had the urge to walk a while, as some pent up restlessness moving inside her demanded it.

Something about her day so far seemed to make her feel very alone.

Yes, she would take a nice long walk, stop at the store for sunscreen (because she was feeling the heat on her skin already) and maybe even stop by that big bookstore that she had been itching to go to. She missed reading. It was something she loved, but hadn't had leisure time for. Maybe she could just go in and look around a while, see what the place had to offer. It was a perfect way to occupy her thoughts and pass the time.

* * *

Sosuke Aizen smiled the cool, professional smile for his boss.

_Yes, _he assured him_, I will take a leave of absence. It would be very beneficial, I believe, as well._

It had been a difficult month, he would admit. His wife was still gone and he had searched for clues tirelessly to no avail. He had expanded his search to towns and cities in a wide radius from her last known location. He had asked around every bus and train station, stopped taxi drivers frequently, went to all the hotels he came across.

Still, he had nothing to go on.

_No, _he also assured_, I don't need more than a few days to find some stress relief. That's all it is. Just stress from the job, sir. I'm sure rest and relaxation would do wonders, as well. _

All of it got him nowhere. Not a single lead. It was so aggravating he could scream. She had nothing, _nothing_, so she couldn't possibly have made it far. She had taken so very little with her. And besides that, where would she go?

Wherewherewherewhere-

_No, sir. That situation will never happen again, I will personally apologize to the intern on my way out, of course. _

He had started drinking heavily, although that was a shameful thing for a man like him to admit. He viewed alcohol like he did drugs and any other vice; as a weakness. He usually would only drink sometimes after work, after a particularly hard day.

But he was catching himself drinking much more now, everyday and at all hours, regardless of work. And he didn't like that, but there was little option. He needed it, because it calmed him. He could function with it swimming through his veins.

And he _needed_ to function, he needed to think and strategize and not be questioned by his pompous ass of a boss. He needed to be able to work and keep it together, so that he could also work at finding her. He needed the resources at his fingertips that the police department had to offer.

It was all for the focus. It was the only reason he drank so much lately. That's all. The alcohol helped bring the anger down to a simmer instead of the hell storm it was when left unchecked.

_No, I don't need anything. Thank you for the concern, and I'm so glad for the understanding._

On his way out the door, he swung by the locker room. The intern who he had…lost his temper with was in there, packing up his things to leave for the day. He was a smart kid, Sosuke would admit. Tons of potent ional. He truly felt bad for tearing him down so harshly earlier today.

"I'm glad I was able to catch you before you left. I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier," he said, employing his best gentle tone. The one he used on troubled teens and upset family members.

The intern glanced over his shoulder and smirked a cocky smirk at him. Ah, interns. So eager to please they will take anything you could dish out at them. So willing to prove themselves, to play the arrogant tough-guy card.

"S'all right, detective Aizen. No harm, no foul."

"Still…it doesn't sit well with me. I just wanted you to know I am sincere in my apology. I think you do an exceptional job here, and you don't deserve the way I acted."

It honestly hadn't been any fault of this kid's that he had gotten so upset.

No, it was _her _fault. She was making him crazy.

The intern kept that smile in place as he pulled a light coat on_. _"S'ok. Are ya heading out?"

"Yes, actually." Sosuke considered the younger man for a moment. He couldn't remember his name, but he knew he was the best out of the group. "Would you like to join me for a drink, perhaps? I'll buy you a round, it's the least I could do."

Because, really, you could never have too many 'eager to please' types. There was always a use for them.

* * *

Shunsui tapped a pen against the register as boredom set in.

It had been slow today, but he blamed it on the nice weather. Everyone was wanting to get outside and enjoy it, probably. Too many days cooped up indoors lately with all the rain.

He couldn't fault them. He felt cooped up himself.

He glanced at the clock and pouted when he realized it had only been ten minutes since he had looked at it last. Briefly, he entertained the thought of closing early so he could just go do _something. _This silence was too much, and the sunshine outside was calling his name. Maybe he'd just flip the sign over and take the day for himself.

Kicking his feet up on the counter, he settled back in the chair, contemplating.

Before he decided what he should do, the bell rang over the door.

Happy at the prospect of a customer to chat with, he looked up in time to see a woman stroll in, her shoulders set in that way he knew all to well.

He held back his wince.

This was probably bound to happen sooner or later, he thought with resignation. She had been a girl from about a month ago, after too much sake and good music. He didn't clearly remember the details of the evening, but he hadn't thought of her since, honestly. She had been an objective to get his mind back on track after his horrid visit to Sapporo.

She obviously remembered him, though. If the determined look on her features were to be believed.

"Good afternoon," he greeted neutrally. What was her name? Crap. It started with an 'M' he thought.

She smiled wryly, as if she could guess at his lapse of memory, and marched over to the counter, her pretty face pinched in a stubborn ire.

"Shunsui," she greeted curtly, hands on her hips.

Yep. She was mad. He mulled over his memory of that evening harder and blurted out the first name that popped up.

His instincts never led him wrong, after all.

"Maizi, you're looking lovely today," he said easily. He didn't bother sitting up, because this was a familiar scene. She wanted to pick a fight, he could see it in her dark eyes. They always wanted to pick a fight when he didn't turn out to be anything more than what he always was.

"It's Maura. _Maura_. Do you seriously not know that?"

Oops. Worthless instincts.

"Er, Maura, forgive me, the light was in my eyes and I thought you were someone else," he amended quickly. He offered her his most winning smile, which only made her jaw twitch in irritation.

"Why haven't you called me?" she demanded, cutting right to the chase.

"Was I supposed to?"

"Of course, you jerk! You don't take someone home one night, then don't call them for weeks!"

He cringed a bit at her words, unable to argue the logic, though. Distantly, he heard the bell jingle over the door, announcing a real customer. Great. That's what he needed, an audience.

"Maura, love, I thought we were both pretty clear on what that was?" he said gently and quietly. Because, really, he knew he deserved the anger most of the time from these women. He never lied to them, but they always seemed to lie to themselves. "And that's been several weeks ago. Why are you just now upset today over this?"

"Do you think it's okay to treat people like that?" she snapped furiously, but keeping her tone down too. Perhaps she wouldn't cause a scene, he hoped.

"I haven't done anything to treat you badly-" he protested, but she cut him off before he could plead his case.

"-I thought there was a connection! I thought you felt _something_!"

Now her voice was rising, and he figured she didn't care anymore if they had an audience or not.

"I had a great time with you," he agreed, standing finally. It was going downhill from here, and it was always better to be on your feet for such things.

"But that's _it_? A great time. Nothing else?" she demanded, and he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. He never could take a woman in tears, it always tugged at him. He never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but it always happened this way.

"Shh. Calm down, let's talk in private in the back office?" he reached out for her to steer her, because this wasn't a conversation that should be done in front of a customer.

"No!" she snapped, obviously not done with her tantrum. "I can't believe you! I thought you were special, do you know that?"

Damn, he should have closed early when he had the chance.

He took a deep breathe, and tried to choose his words carefully. It had been one night, and he didn't remember the particulars of the sex, but he knew he would never lead her on about a relationship. He was always straightforward about those things.

"Maura, I…we never made any promises-"

"-just shut _up_! I'm outta here!"

With that, she stormed out the door, leaving his side in a flurry of tears and cheap perfume.

As the door slammed back with more force than necessary, he slumped against the counter.

Well. That had certainly cured his boredom.

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, wondering why such things always came back to bite him. Maybe he should take a break from the females for a while. He certainly didn't enjoy these ugly conversations, or the tears and broken hearts. What was simply a good time for him is always something entirely different for them, no matter what he does to make it clear.

Yes, he decided, he probably will just take a break from the opposite sex for a bit.

He was quite firm on that idea, too, until he remembered he had a customer. And glancing over at the sound of a book being slid quietly back onto the shelf, his eyes widened.

There _she_ was.

* * *

**AN:** Quick update, I'm in a ridiculous hurry this whole damned week. Jeez. Anyways, forgive any typos, I didn't get around to double checking over this like I usually do. I'll probably get to it at some point. Spelling errors may be prominent.

PS: I have the best reviewers in the whole world. Thank you everyone who reviewed, your encouragment and excitment drives me so much! Huge thanks to all of you!


	8. Chapter 7

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 7-

* * *

His breath hitched every time he had caught sight of her around town. Which happened more frequently since the first time last week. Of course, that was probably his fault, because he spent more time scanning the windows now than he ever used to.

But here she was, _in his bookstore. _

She was keeping her eyes carefully averted, and her cheeks were pink as she carefully replaced the book in her hands. He watched, still dumbfounded, as she turned and made her way quietly to the door. Obviously, she had overheard the exchange. He cursed colorfully in the privacy of his own head. That whole conversation with Maura had probably gave off a horrible impression of him to her.

"Ah, wait, please," he said quickly, taking a step closer. She froze, seemingly startled by his voice. Her pretty violet eyes flicked to him, but avoided meeting his gaze. He knew she must be mortified to have witnessed such a thing. "I'm so sorry you had to hear all that."

"It's fine, I was just leaving," she assured, turning to leave once more.

Shunsui cast about desperately for some way to make her feel at ease enough to stay. He had been waiting to bump into her, hoping to get the chance to know her.

This, clearly, was _not_ how he had wanted to start off. With her feeling uncomfortable after having to hear an ex-lover of his throwing a fit.

"I'm sorry, again. I know that was a very unprofessional scene for a business."

"I was just browsing, anyways," she murmured.

Crap. She was still leaving. May as well beg. "Please, don't leave on account of that?"

Pausing at the door, Nanao finally met his eyes.

He waited, hopeful, for her to recognize him. Several seconds ticked by. But then there was…well, nothing. He didn't see any signs of recollection in her gaze. She was looking at him like she probably would look at any other stranger. With wary watchfulness.

Shunsui felt a pang in his chest. Did she really not remember him? He had been infatuated from the start, and she didn't seem to know him at all. Ironically, only moments ago he was being accused of the same thing, of forgetting someone so easily.

It's true what they say about karma, apparently.

"I really was just browsing," she told him, shifting where she stood.

"Well, please, stay? Feel free to browse as much as you'd like," he managed, feeling the let-down of the forgotten. "If you need any help, just ask, alright?"

His voice sounded defeated, even to his own ears. She had left such an mark on him that day a month ago, but he had apparently left none with her.

She stared back, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her white blouse nervously. She seemed to be weighing her options.

He wanted her to stay, for reasons he couldn't explain even to himself, he really hoped she would. Even if she didn't remember him, he still wanted to get to know her.

"Alright," she agreed, although still looked unsure. She turned back to the shelves, moving down the rows again, putting distance between them.

After a moment of relief, he moved himself back behind the counter, not wanting her to feel crowded. Sitting back down by the register, he went about to seem like he was busy, grabbing paperwork that actually really did need finished. He would simply give her space. And maybe she wouldn't run off just yet.

He peeked every so often from his position, tracking her movements through the store. She moved with precision, her fingers trailing over the spines of books as she went. Once in a while, she would pull one from the shelf to read the back cover, and he would get lost in the way her expressions changed as she read the descriptions. The way her eyes would narrow with interest, or her lips thin with concentration.

As he watched her, he wondered what types of books she preferred. He wondered if he should ask, or offer to help her find them. Maybe he could break the ice better that way, by leading her to her favorite selections?

Funny, but he found himself a little tongue-tied. He was no stranger to women, but this one was very different, wasn't she? And he was incapable of getting his usually easy manner with females to kick in. Figures. It really was karma catching up, he thought sourly.

Besides, she had just witnessed a rather…telling exchange of his personal life. He supposed she would want to avoid him after all that.

So by force of will he kept himself seated, watching her discreetly as she went about. He decided he should just leave her be and wait, because she obviously would be here for a while. Only true bookworms roamed about a bookstore in that way, eager and absorbed in the task of finding the perfect pick.

If her obvious excitement was any indicator, she would probably be back. His was the only bookstore in town, after all. He would be able to get her to warm up, he was sure.

All he needed was patience, which came so readily to him.

Usually.

* * *

Nanao replaced the tomb in her hands, sighing to herself. There was so much here, so many things that jumped out and caught her attention. It felt like forever since she had last had the opportunity to hunt through such a big selection of books.

She had almost forgotten how much she loved it.

The cozy atmosphere of this place was very welcoming, the air filled with the faint smell of the fireplace, warm lighting strewn about the large room. Tasteful, colorful artwork hung on the walls. The shelves were just packed full, spanning so many different types of reads. What a wonderful, unspoiled place. So many books to discover.

She was in love instantly, feeling giddy and excited.

There was only one thing off-setting the whole experience. She got the sense that she was being watched. It made her hyperaware of the man at the register. He had been in a rather heated discussion when she had first walked in, so she hadn't noticed who he was right away. But when she had made to leave and he had looked at her with those intelligent grey eyes, she had almost laughed at the odds. She really did have terrible luck.

It had taken her a moment, but she remembered him. Only her well-used perfect poker face had kept her from giving away her recognition to him. He was the man from the train that day. How could she ever forget? He didn't have the ball cap on, but she didn't think she would forget eyes like those.

And how unbelievable that she would find him here, after assuming she would never see him again? He apparently worked in the one store in town she would want to be a regular at. What were the odds of that?

Chancing a glance in the direction of the counter, she saw that he seemed to be engrossed with filling out some type of paperwork. She was relieved to see he wasn't paying her any attention. Which was comforting, because that meant that maybe he didn't remember her, after all. Maybe she was just imagining the feeling of being watched. Paranoia ran strong in her these days.

She turned back to the shelves quickly, hoping he just went on ignoring her. Praying her face didn't pique his memory. The last thing she could handle was someone like him asking her questions that she couldn't answer. He would be the type that would make her feel bad about lying to.

Still, she didn't like the impression she had left on him. She had acted out of desperation that day when she had latched on to him, and that was not how she wanted someone to think of her. As impulsive or bizarre or whatever else she had come off as. Hell, she probably seemed like a goodtime kind of girl that day from his perspective, clinging to him like she had.

Her cheeks heated in embarrassment. Why did she have to face this man again?

She decided she wouldn't worry about it, because she couldn't change any of it. So she pushed it from her thoughts and went about the store. Besides, he didn't seem like he knew her when they had spoke just now. He had just acted concerned that he had chased off a customer.

Ignoring the fluttering sense of awareness, she went about the selections. Bent on pretending there was nothing else worth thinking of.

* * *

A title caught her eye, and she pulled the book from the shelf. Running her hand down the cover, she flipped through a few pages, quickly getting caught in the first chapter. She could afford just one to take home, although it wasn't a smart move. She had lots of things she needed to buy yet. But she _missed_ reading. It really had been a long, long time since she had enjoyed a good book.

But still…maybe she should just ask around for a library. She really didn't need to be blowing what little spending money she had just yet.

She wasn't sure how long she had flipped through the book, but she eventually closed it. She was reluctant to put this one back on the shelf, but she did anyhow. She would come back and get it one day, she vowed.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, she decided she should start heading back home. It would be just getting dark by the time she arrived if she left now. She had been so caught up in here that she didn't even realize how much time had passed.

"You can take one of those with you, if you'd like?"

Nanao froze again at the voice, the deep timbre commanding her attention effortlessly. Looking over to the man sitting at the register, she saw that he _was _watching her now.

"Thank you, but no," she demurred, feeling unnerved to get caught in such an intent stare.

"All of those are part of the borrow collection," he told her, gesturing with his pen to the shelf she had been looking through.

She looked up, and noticed the sign hanging above now that he mentioned it.

"I can borrow one?" she asked, unsure if she had heard correctly.

"That's why they're here." He smiled warmly when he saw her eyes light up with the prospect. "Take whatever you'd like. There's a sign out sheet up here when you're ready."

She turned back to the shelf, not needing to decide which she wanted the most. Picking the book back up that she had replaced moments ago and cradling it to her chest, she came to the counter.

She could feel his eyes on her as she signed her name to the paper on the clipboard, writing in the title and the date. She paused at one of the columns, raising her eyes to his.

"I don't have a phone number to give."

"You don't strike me as the type who I would have to call to remind about bringing back a book."

"I'm not," she assured.

"That was quick to settle, then, wasn't it?" he winked.

She nodded, grateful, and completed the rest of the sheet. When she finished, she looked up at him and told him sincerely, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he said, offering her another smile. She shifted uneasily in front of him and looked away quickly, and he reminded himself to tone it down. He was staring, he knew. He could tell that she didn't like the attention. Which was a pity, she was too attractive to not get noticed.

"Keep it as long as you need to."

"It will not be long."

"I'll see you when you return, then."

Nanao turned from his kind smile and gentle words. She left before she had to stay there with him any longer. There was something about him she couldn't quite name. It was an instant and easy fondness, and it gave her pause. Rangiku possessed the same thing, that special quality that just had people wanting to get to know them better. Something magnetic, and she wasn't so resistant.

She still wanted to leave quickly, though. Yes, he was clearly just as likable as her coworker, but it wasn't an all around pleasant feeling. In fact, it caused her to question herself. What was she thinking? That she could make friends here and stay forever? That wasn't in the plan, and she needed to remember not to get too comfortable.

Getting comfortable scared her, because it meant she would make a mistake.

Outside, the sun was setting and a chill was settling in the air. She headed back in the direction of the cottage, hugging the book tightly. She was thrilled to have some new reading material, honestly. She hadn't lied when she said she wouldn't have it long, probably only a day or two and she would be done. She couldn't wait to get started. Reading was a healthy and uncomplicated hobby for her. One she was glad to launch back into again. A wonderful distraction.

And in the privacy of her thoughts, she told herself that was all she really needed right now.

* * *

Shunsui let out a breath when she walked out of the door, one he didn't realize he had been holding. She didn't look back as she went down the sidewalk, her shoulders were stiff and he had the distinct impression that she was sad for some reason.

Glancing down at the roster she had signed, he reached out to turn it towards him. Taking note of her neat writing, precise and graceful, and what she had written.

Nanao Ise.

That was her name. He rolled it around in his head, before deciding that it suited her. And he had something to call her, too.

He sat back down in his chair, sparing a look at the darkening sky and hoping she made it safely home.

Funny, he had been contemplating closing early before she had come in. And now here he was, having stayed open an hour later than usual because she had been here. But then, he would have sat here all night, content to watch her move about in his space, if she had wanted to.

Still, he didn't like the thought of her walking home in the dark. He wished he knew where she lived, and hoping that it wasn't far. This was a generally safe town, but that didn't make him feel any better about it. Call him old fashioned, but there were some things that just didn't settle right with him. She shouldn't have to walk alone.

He almost rose from his seat. Almost went out the door and offered to walk with her.

But he didn't.

She wouldn't appreciate such a thing, he knew as much by her mannerism. It would probably seem creepy of him to ask, even. They were strangers, after all. And she unfortunately struck him as a loner, and a very mistrustful one, too, if he were reading her right.

_Nanao. _He smiled a wistful smile to himself. _Her name is Nanao_.

Although he had an ill-timed conversation with another woman earlier today, one that started off with his forgetfulness of her name, he knew he wouldn't have the same problem with this girl.

He looked over her writing again before moving the clipboard back to it's spot on the counter.

No, he would remember that perfectly.

* * *

Again, another quick post. I love all of you guys who reviewed, even if I don't respond know that I read and cherish every single one! You spur me on!


	9. Chapter 8

**To Breathe Again**

-Chapter 8-

* * *

It was Friday afternoon, and Nanao had just left work. Checking for traffic, she stepped from the sidewalk and made her way across the street. Tucked under her arm was her borrowed book.

Today had been a good day at work, it had been busy and she had made good tips. Plus, the prospect of getting another book to read made the day even better. She was antsy with anticipation now that she knew such a wonderful selection was so close.

The little bell chimed above when she entered, and her eyes automatically scanned for the man who had been here a few days ago. She was fairly surprised at the amount of customers milling about the store, but she didn't see _him_ at the counter. She never did catch his name, but whoever he was, he was no where in sight.

She let out a breath of relief.

He must be helping someone, she dismissed. Or maybe he doesn't work today at all. Not that she had wanted to run into him, of course. She was actually still unsure how to feel about having another encounter with him. But if she wanted a book, she'd have to just deal with it, she supposed. No matter how uncomfortable it made her feel to have to eyes on her.

She walked up to the counter, signing the book back in on the roster, and wondering if she should leave it here or put it back on the shelf.

Movement caught her attention, and she was startled to see a little pink-haired girl sitting behind the register on a stool. Her head bowed over a large encyclopedia, her feet too short to reach the floor from the seat.

Nanao was impressed at the advanced reading material the girl was thoroughly invested in, honestly. It was an encyclopedia on the Feudal Era. It wasn't a typical 5 or 6 year old that would read such a book. She must be very bright, Nanao mused.

The little girl must have felt eyes on her, because she peeked up over the book. "Oh! It's you!"

Nanao blinked, confused at who the child thought she was. "Me?"

"Ya! With the mean face!"

Whatever that meant, it clearly excited the little girl. Nanao's lips twitched into a tiny smile. "A mean face? When did I make one of those?"

"At the coffee shop! I saw you one day," the girl informed her, tossing the book carelessly aside and jumping up on the counter for a better inspection. The book slid carelessly before falling to the floor with a clatter, but was quickly forgotten by Nanao when she got a face full of little girl. She wondered if the girl knew what 'personal space' meant, since she was leaning so close that their noses almost touched. "I've been practicing mine too!"

She wasn't sure which to comment on first, the fact that she just threw a book on the floor or that she was leaving footprints on the countertop.

"Have you?" Nanao finally managed, leaning back, only to have the girl lean with her.

"Yeah, but yours is better," she sulked, reaching out and taking the book from Nanao's hands. She released it, puzzled as the girl flipped through it curiously.

"What is this? Do ya always read boring things?"

"It _was_ boring towards the end, actually," Nanao agreed. It had been a sad disappointment when she had finished, but she was hoping to get a new one today. "What would you suggest, then?"

"I donno," she shrugged, tossing the book back to Nanao, who scrambled to catch it. "My Dad says reading rots your brain."

Nanao just barely held her horror in check. Who would say such a terrible thing about books to an impressionable young mind? "That's not true. Reading is-"

"-can I try on your glasses?"

Nanao blinked at the girl. The drastic change in conversation throwing her for a moment. "Ah, well, I need them to see."

"So?"

"So, if I take them off for you to try on, I wouldn't be able to see very well," she reasoned, bemused.

The child pursed her lips thoughtfully before beaming at her with a megawatt smile. "You're funny."

"I've never been called that before," Nanao said, honestly.

"I'm Yachiru," she declared, sticking her chubby hand out for Nanao to take.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Nanao," she said, clasping her little hand for a formal shake.

She glanced around, but didn't see any adults keeping watch over the little spitfire. "Where are your parents?"

"Do you work tomarrow?"

"Yes," she hedged, lost by the change of topics yet again.

"Ok! What time should I come?"

"Pardon?"

"To the coffee place, duh. Whitey always makes new cupcakes on Saturdays. I'm his tester. He told me so."

"Well, if you're planning to just drop by for a visit, mid-morning is always slow-"

"-Okay!" she chirped, and hopped of the counter. "See ya tomarrow!"

With an enthusiastic wave, the little girl left and Nanao shook her head in wonder. She honestly didn't understand half of that interaction.

"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into by encouraging Yachiru."

The rich voice was unmistakable, and she braced herself before turning to meet the gaze of it's owner.

Shunsui smiled in greeting as he made his way around the counter.

"No, but I suppose I'll find out tomarrow."

"I'm sure you will," he grinned. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine," she answered politely.

He sat down at the vacant stool, and seemed content to just wait for her to fill the silence. He was dressed casually again, jeans and a button-down shirt, with the top few buttons undone more than what would be considered suitable, probably. She drew her eyes away from the peek of sun-darkened skin and crisp hair that his top reveled.

Nanao shifted her stance in embarrassment, surprised that she had noticed such a thing. She wasn't one for ogling. But he was different than most, she supposed. He gave a general sense of relaxation, just sitting there and watching her with that intense gaze. Even with an unshaven face and loose ponytail, he really was an attractive man.

"You're back so soon," he observed, when she failed to say anything on her own.

"Yes."

"Couldn't stay away long?" he asked.

Nanao blushed lightly at how that sounded. He decided instantly that he liked it very much.

"I was just returning this," she held the book out to him over the counter, feeling a bit awkward.

"I figured as much," he said, accepting it from her.

She looked away again, remembering the encyclopedia laying on the floor by her feet.

"She must have forgotten her book," she said with a wince, because it had landed face down and open, the spine stretched. She hated creased pages. Bending to pick it up, she turned it over to smooth the page, but bright color caught her eye.

She blinked in disbelief.

The girl hadn't been _reading_, she had been coloring in it with highlighters. There was a samurai scene, a beautiful spreading picture in black and white, now completely covered in a child's graffiti. Several of the warriors had bright pink hair, and some had lips to match. One unfortunate warrior had a bikini drawn over his regal attire. And then there was a smiling sun in the upper corner, and hearts and flowers all over the rest.

"Oh...was this one of yours?"

"Yep. Let me guess, she used it as a canvas?" he mused, and her eyes shot to his.

Would he be mad?

"Yes." Nanao swallowed, handing it to him to see. She knew how quick a warm smile could turn to wrath. Her hands trembled just slightly when he took it from her.

Nanao watched as his eyes skimmed the picture, and she was completely taken back when he started laughing heartily. Some of the tension left her shoulders at the care-free sound of it. She had been worried he would have been upset, but to the contrary, he seemed to find it comical.

"She does this from time to time. I usually hide any writing utensils when she's back here, but sometimes she brings her own."

Nanao reached for the wallet in her pocket, feeling she needed to make amends, regardless if he was upset or not.

"Here, let me pay for-"

"-why on Earth would I ask you to pay for it?" he cut her off quickly, confused.

"Well, I feel responsible because I was standing right here when she did it," Nanao pointed out.

"Did you know she was doing it?"

"No."

"Then how would you be responsible?"

Nanao frowned at his reasoning, although it was hard to argue the point. "But you can't sell it now."

"No. But that hardly makes it your responsibility," he said firmly, turning it in his hands and glancing at the back cover. On the back, there was a large, exaggerated mustache drawn on the female author's face. And horns, naturally. He laughed again, clearly amused.

"I'm sorry," she offered, feeling bad about the ruined book.

Shunsui looked up at her tone, startled. "Please don't be. Honestly, this is mild compared to some of her shenanigans."

Nanao didn't know what to say, and she felt all around uneasy with the sincerity of his tone.

With disappointment, he realized their light conversation had come to a close because of this, for whatever reason.

"Have you looked around, yet? There are a few new selections," he asked to change the subject. He hopped she would stay, he didn't want her to leave just yet.

"No," she admitted, glancing around the busy store.

"The newest out are on that shelf, to the right," he pointed. "And of course, there's plenty more back there if you would just like to borrow another one?"

"Yes, I would like that. Thank you."

"Well, happy hunting. You know where to sign when you're done," he smiled, gesturing to the clipboard.

Her gaze lingered on him for just a moment before she turned away.

Shunsui crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. He watched her move down one isle, toward the back shelf. She looked good today, he decided. She seemed better rested than the last time she was in.

As she skimmed over the shelves meticulously, he smiled to himself, pleased. He had spent a decent amount of time yesterday rearranging. He had taken books he thought she might enjoy and added them to the borrow shelves. It was all a guess on his part, but he had paid attention to what genres she seemed to gravitate to the last time she had browsed and chose accordingly.

The bell chimed, interrupting his attention to his little mysterious patron, and a bouncy Rangiku burst through. "Where is she?"

"Eh? Who?"

"Nanao. She said she was coming over here before she left. Is she still here?"

"How do you know her?" he asked, surprised.

"She works at the coffee shop now." The blonde explained with an absent wave of her hand, before freezing in her tracks. She turned a suspicious eye to him. "Wait, how do _you_ know her?"

"She works there?" he countered, stunned. How did he not know that? Then again, it had been a while since he had gone over during business hours for a visit. Still.

"Jushiro hired her a few weeks ago," Rangiku shrugged, spotting the girl in question. "Oh! There she is!"

* * *

"Nanao! I was hoping to catch you!" Rangiku said in a loud whisper.

Nanao turned to her, book open in her hands. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming over today," she explained, digging through a huge, oversized purse hanging off her shoulder.

"Over?" she asked, confused, as she placed the book back on the shelf.

"To your house," she explained patiently, pulling a bottle out of her bag. "Ta-da! House warming party!"

"A what? Put that away," Nanao hissed, shoving the bottle back into the depths of her busty co-worker's purse before any of the customers saw it. "You can't have stuff like that in public places!"

"You clearly don't know the owner that well," she laughed, trying to pull the bottle back out. "Look, it's a rare blend! Try a quick sip!"

"What's wrong with you?" Nanao abolished hotly, shoving it back into the purse again. "Just leave it there, it's not proper to wave something like that around. And why are you coming to my house again?"

"Well, I figured you'd be good and settled there by now, so I thought I'd bring over some wine and we could christen the place!"

Nanao stared at her in disbelief. "You want to come over to my house and drink wine?"

"Yep!"

"Why?"

"Seriously? Lighten up. Come on, let's go!"

"I don't have much to host guests," Nanao said, not sure how she felt about the bubbly woman in her meager cottage. She would look so out of place in her drab little home.

"Pfft! I don't need hosting."

"I…suppose. I don't have any plans," Nanao said, considering it for a moment, thinking it would be nice to have some company, maybe. She couldn't remember the last time she had spent time with a friend. Hell, she wasn't sure she even could consider the people from her old life friends anymore. Not after several years of no contact, anyways.

"Great! Lets go!" Hooking her arm through Nanao's, the taller woman drug her towards the door. She pulled Nanao past the counter, where the man was watching them with interest.

"Are you taking customers from my store, Ran?" he drawled, as they went by. "You didn't even let her pick out a book yet."

"She'll be back for one another day. We have more exciting things to do," she informed him, nudging Nanao with her purse. The bottle clanked into her hip hard enough to make her scowl.

"Stop that. And what's wrong with books?" Nanao asked, trying to wriggle free from the grip the other woman held her in. She didn't succeed, and if anything, she was getting hurried to the door even faster.

"Um, they're boring?" Rangiku laughed.

"Well have a good day then, ladies," he called as they left.

Leaning back on his stool, Shunsui mulled ideas over in his head. Nanao worked at the coffee shop, did she? He thoughtfully glanced at his phone laying by the register. This could be a nice little turn of events, actually.

A plan was forming in his brain, itching to take root. Yes, it would work. It was a good way to spend time around her without setting off her warning bells.

After a moment of consideration, he picked up the phone and dialed a well-known number.

"Hello," greeted a jovial voice after the second ring.

"It's me, and I need a favor."

"What kind, exactly?" Jushiro asked skeptically. Phone calls never ended well when they started off that way.

"I need help with a girl."

"You never need help with a girl."

"I do with this one," he sighed, propping his head on a hand. "She's different."

"Do I even want to ask? And what exactly could I do to help you with the poor thing who caught your eye?" he snarked.

"I have it on good authority that you hired the girl I'm talking about-"

"-Stop right there. You are not allowed to harass Nanao. She's a good, hard worker, and I'd like to keep her around."

"What makes you think I'd run her off?" he asked, miffed.

"You leave a trail of broken hearts everywhere you go," Jushiro pointed out calmly. "So leave her be. She's not really your type, anyhow."

"I don't have a type," he argued.

"Oh yes, you do. And Nanao isn't it."

"Do you really think so terribly of me? I swear I have nothing but good intentions with her. I just want to get to know her better."

"Then ask her out on your own, and leave me out of it. I'm not getting involved."

"She would say no if I asked directly. That's why I need your help."

"If you know she would say no, then why are you bothering? Again, I'm not getting involved with any schemes you're brewing. Forget it."

"Honestly, I just want to be friends. I'm not going to break her heart, she's far too wary to be interested in me, besides."

"Every female is interested in you. And I don't believe you would _intentionally_ break her heart, but I know it will happen eventually."

"Wait, just hear me out. She's new to town and doesn't have anyone here to spend time with. Ran just took her off on a girl's night, and I could tell she was happy to have the company. She needs some new friends, Jyuu!" he whined, hoping for the other man to cave. He could be easily quilted into just about anything.

"I think _I_ need some new friends," he grumbled over the line.

Shunsui heard the resignation in his voice and grinned. "Great! Because I have an idea…"

Jushiro pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Shunsui rarely asked him for anything, and he really was a good man, but he had a terrible pattern with women. He had a charm that they just couldn't resist. He knew, though, that if anyone could bring the girl out of her shell, it would be Shunsui. But then, the last thing he wanted was for his new employee to fall for the man. He didn't know her well, but she worked for him and he felt obligated to not allow her feelings to get hurt if he could prevent it.

But he _had_ just been assured of honorable intentions. Maybe that's what his friend was trying to do, maybe it really was platonic and he wasn't aiming for a conquest.

He sighed, knowing he would hate himself if the whole thing turned sour.

"What exactly did you have in mind, then?"

* * *

They sat on the porch, the sun long since gone down. They had talked for hours over wine. Well, Rangiku had, anyways. Nanao mostly listened and sipped slowly.

"Wait…you have a boyfriend?"

"Don't look so shocked!" Rangiku laughed from her spot on the steps.

"Well, you just seemed, um…" Nanao blushed, wondering how to word such a thing delicately.

"Friendly with the gentlemen?" She suggested with a mischievous smile. "A ruthless tease? Oh! What about a-"

"-I didn't mean to sound offensive."

"-It's fine, because it's true. I like to mess with the guys. You know, play with 'em a bit. But Gin has my heart. We both grew up here together, but now he lives out of town."

Nanao was surprised by the wistful note in her coworker's voice. She really did love whoever this Gin guy. What a shock. "Why did he move?"

"Well, he moved away for college a few years ago. And now he's finishing up an internship. When he gets hired on, I'll move up there with him."

"A long distance relationship?" Nanao asked, skeptical. "Does that work?"

"Yep. It's worked out well for us. I mean, it's hard sometimes, but we see each other periodically. And talk on the phone every night. It isn't going to be forever, just until he gets a full time position and can move out of the dorms."

"Why didn't you just go with him when he went off to school?"

"I'm not college material," Rangiku snorted. "I don't have the kind of smarts it takes. Gin, though? He's a genius. He's the brains to my beauty."

Nanao chuckled at her not-so-modest friend. "I'm glad you have someone."

"Me too. Even if he is far away," Rangiku said, forlorn. She reached over and filled her cup to the rim. Nanao eyed her warily, having lost count on how many cups that would make. "He's single, ya know."

"Hm? Who's single?"

"Shunsui. You know, from the bookstore? And why are you still nursing that glass?"

"I'm not much of a drinker." Nanao moved her cup out of the other woman's reach when she tried to top it off. She took a small sip to placate her, considering her words. Well, now she knew his name, it seemed. "Why are you telling me that he's single?"

"Uh, because you're single too," she said, as if it were obvious. "Although he's more the 'good-time' type of guy, if you get my drift."

"I'm not interested in seeing anyone."

"Exactly! Like I said, he's the one to go to for some fun!"

"I'm not looking for that, either," she frowned.

"Then what _are _you looking for?"

"Peace and quite."

Rangiku laughed, saluting to that with her cup and throwing it back in a large swallow. "You certainly have it all the way out here. Woods and ocean all around. It's so nice."

"Yes," she agreed, glancing around the dim surroundings. Crickets chirped merrily from the tree line. It really had turned into a nice evening sitting here and talking like this.

"What brought you to Shari, anyhow?"

"I just wanted a clean slate," Nanao said quietly, leaning back on her hands. She didn't have any outdoor furniture, so they had taken up spots on the steps. But Rangiku didn't seem to mind.

"There is certainly appeal in that," she agreed, regarding the smaller woman. "Do you miss anything from your old town? What did you leave behind?"

Nanao considered the questions. From her previous life, was there anything that she missed?

She thought of her new life here. Her new job, with her easy-going boss and budding friendship with Rangiku.

She thought of her cottage and the late night walks along the shore with damp sand between her toes.

She thought of Shari, of the quiet roads and cheerful natives, the towering volcano that loomed in the background.

She thought of her moody old landlord, and his kindness that he covered so well.

Oddly enough, she also thought of the cozy bookstore, and the man who worked there. With his watchful eyes and an easy smile that could make the rest of the world go away for a little while.

Did she miss anything?

"No," she brought the cup to her lips again, "Nothing at all."

* * *

Whew. Ok, well, I know this was a bit uneventful. It'll pick up though. I meant to get this out sooner this week...but, believe it or not, I got obsessed working on a Shun/Nanao one-shot that invaded my thoughts. It's almost completed, I'm just agonizing over the ending, so I can't even say when I'll have it up and going, but soon, I'm sure.

Anyways, I had some seriously amazing reviews from the last update, and I wanted to give you guys that took the time my heartfelt thanks! xoxoxox


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